Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
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Top comments
DFlit1 0
Old bitches r still bitches
saIty 17
It's a miracle she's alive. Some old people cut the cheese so hard they blow up.
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Comments (130)
LordGoober 13
You really didn't claim it in public when it was that noticeable? Fyl
Youtube00 5
Just jokingly say something like "those burritos were good last night" Problem solved
8sq 13
I would have just laughed and explained what happened.
xDefendPopPunkx 14
Wisdom may come with age, but I guess manners don't.
CreeperIRL 14
When keepin it real goes wrong?
stro88 6
Dang she dealt it like a boss then. Learn from her grace.
eminemchick 19
thank you 22 now "like a boss" is stuck in my head
xcassiecassx 8
I can't wait to get old.
nikkibee50 10
I would have punched the bitch in her face!
xDefendPopPunkx 14
21, that is an amazing The Wonder Years song. Sorry, my pop punk addiction got the best of me. Back to topic, yeah old people can be so rude. That is what we're talking about, right?
theaws0m3guy 4
Lol the scene playing in my head is freaking hilarious...
starkiller731 2
21- I thought more of emmure when I saw that.
adropofpeace 8
Hey, look on the bright side OP, everyone on FML believes you're innocent :)
Laurenlou 24
Gosh. You gotta love old people.(:
NTimmy 2
I did the same to my little sister :)
heykaymae 2
Emmure?
DFlit1 0
Old bitches r still bitches
ant1078 7
Old ppl on the bus are the worst
commietaco 0
bitches ain't the same these days. back in my day if you wanted a sammich the bitch would bring you one! now, the damn feminists run the place! if I want a sammich I have to drive to the damn deli, pay 5 dollars, and only then do I get my sammich!.....goddamn feminists!
Uraharas_Bankai 1
The daily life an old person, annoying the hell out of anyone younger than them
Lanceeden 12
Whoever smelled it dealt it
hemz_fml 13
I'd do the same and so would you and everyone else it's human nature.
22cute 17
Ah, farting in public, one of the well earned rights of growing old.
imaninja1 9
Or being young
Zeek63 0
Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay that was titled "Fart Proudly" so ya piece of history class on FML
DeathMaple 3
Haha she passed the gas.
LordGoober 13
Really? I missed that part of the fml.
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Death maple I see what you did there
Pinguini26 6
You gotta watch out for those "sweet old ladies."
Dalliance 4
#4, she passed wind AND passed the buck, so to speak. I think that was the pun #3 was aiming for.
QueenQuay77 10
she did a classic move, that's hilarious. she departed after she farted lmao!!!
shalia_fml 1
I admit, FYL. old people these days. :/ I guess they get some "skills" at fooling ppl with age lol.
Eggers 2
Kids these days. lacking a sense of humor. your comment no es bueno
crazychick1269 7
I love old old people!
BOOSCAREDU 0
So you don't love old people? Only old old people.
crazychick1269 7
no sorry I had a blonde moment and like totally screwed up!
Killerturtle 11
I can't help to laugh when old people fart uncontrollably :/
horsegirl331 6
My grandma always does fart!
flugiboogee 9
How is this an fml? So what? People thought you farted, boo hoo.
Runninvegan 8
Tell them you have Tourettes of the ass.
nixter5 18
Or a spastic colon.
just_a_dude_ 0
"did your ass just call me Bob Saget?"
saIty 17
It's a miracle she's alive. Some old people cut the cheese so hard they blow up.
loserman67 36
it could have been worse - she could have sharted and ran
momobeans14 0
Hahahaha hilarious
8sq 13
Thank god it wasn't diarreha.
phoebe333 2
Clean up in isle 4. :)
Prolusive 5
Aisle agree with that... (pun intended)