Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
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Top comments
people_annoy_me 23
That's kinda funny. You should have said it was you though, then slapped the lady for slapping her kid.
chris4u2nv5 19
Sucks to be the kid!!!
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Comments (175)
chris4u2nv5 19
Sucks to be the kid!!!
Random4Dayz 19
Why would they hit their kid for farting?
Kamon97 23
Because some parents shouldn't have bred
Kevin_Kestel 24
I hope you did the right thing and spoke up.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Result! Whenever i sit next to a kid on a plane i know that i can just fart to my heart's content and if anyone looks over give a look of disgust in the kid's direction xD
people_annoy_me 23
You're evil XD
J_Kertz 14
I'm not quite sure if this is more of an FML on OP's part or the kid's part...
TheAtheistChild 10
At least the woman didn't hit you, OP.
thatADHDdude 21
How did OP deserve this? Unless he deliberately made it seem like it was the kid (in which case OP would deserve), the only one to blame would be the mother.
733yoda_fml 19
Because they're bad parents
people_annoy_me 23
That's kinda funny. You should have said it was you though, then slapped the lady for slapping her kid.
MortenM 17
Funny? It's effing brilliant
Dave_Davington 34
Just picture it. "IT. WAS. ME!!" *SMACK* Poetry in motion.
russfml 31
That is 5 slaps for pre mature slappulation!!!
sharedcat 6
AHAHA
rebelbelle 17
What a stinky situation, that poor kid
Rallred32 20
Was that a pun?
adamzki1999 16
You atleast tried
redstone7693 29
Nice pun! Too bad 35 people are assholes and have a shit sense of humor
Roskie 16
Why is this so common recently? The dislike button exists for a reason. You're not even the original commenter, so why are you so defensive?
Rallred32 20
77, if that was a pun, it was really bad. Please don't tell me you're that guy that says "that's a shitty situation".
people_annoy_me 23
I don't understand why this comment is being down voted. I think it's really punny.
rebelbelle 17
geeze people calm down, haha not all comments are golden
buster113 15
Haha 69 down likes
ButterflyHaze 25
F the kids life... He must've been embarrassed too.
sometimessam 16
He shouldn't be embarrassed, he didn't do anything! Wonder how old the kid was, I would have said something if it were me.
Comet_Candy 23
I don't understand why it's such a big deal to fart in public. It's just a natural process, and I doubt the kid would do it to be funny.
Flowtastic 16
Belching, scratching your nether regions, and ************ are all natural things to do too. It's just etiquette and manners to keep things like that private
christian1509 21
Masturbation*
honeymoonroyale 20
At the same time, holding in gas is literally unhealthy. So it may be "etiquette", but you can't hold it in forever. Yes you can do it away from people, sure, but that opportunity isn't always available.
Flowtastic 16
My statement was still perfectly distinguishable. This isn't the oxford dictionary. There's no point in posting, without adding to the fml, about a spelling error other than trying to boost your own self esteem by belittling others...
Garnetshaddow 30
Scratching and masturbating are things you should not really do in public. But little things like burping or farting are hard to stop sometimes. And who cares? It's just a little smell. What's next for you? Policing the hiccups?
Abdul888 16
wow, girls think it's ok to fart in public!
MrConcise 35
@56 - But if FML isn't the right place to use proper spelling and grammar, what is? A dissertation? The newspaper? Malarkey, I say! Complete blasphemy!
hystericsky 11
The difference between farting/burping and scratching/masturbating #36 is that air naturally comes out of your body. It's your choice to scratch or jerk off, it doesn't happen naturally like the others do.
Flowtastic 16
111 - just because it naturally comes from your body doesnt mean you should do it in the middle of a crowded area. This is where the etiquette and manners portion of my fml became relevant.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Poor kid. Beating a child over a fart is just wrong and totally unnecessary. The kid didn't even toot.
Zebediabolical 45
And the next time he wants to he'll remember this time and hold it in. Thank you OP!
Flowtastic 16
While I agree with what you're saying. A slap is far from a "beating"
Grizz8831 14
slap you husband/wife, I doubt they will see a real difference. slap a kids hand away from a hot stove, or sharp knife... not because you think they farted. violance is a bad way to teach manners.
grunt_fml 17
I wonder if OP at least went to defend the kid. Otherwise we might soon be reading some kids FML. "Today, both my mother and the guy in front of me turned out to be complete jerks..."
Beansforbill 14
The guy?
jesse0108 2
It would be more like, "Today, my mother slapped me in line at the grocery store for making a nasty fart in public. I didn't fart. FML."
thevelociraptor 31
I would own up your toot and let the kid and mom know, but at a safe distance. Also it's not ok for the kid's mom to hit him for a simple fart that wasn't even his.
Crofty92 17
What good will it do? The mum can't undo the slap.
thevelociraptor 31
Maybe she would have apologized to her kid. Also I would feel pretty guilty and loose sleep for getting a little kid slapped...
CrabbityAnn 10
Mother of the year award goes to... I can understand telling the kid not to be rude but slapping him? I hope you turned around and gave them a disgusted look though, lol
raww77 12
it said smacked not slapped so it probably wasn't hard just a little hit but people have to take as far as calling that abuse which is not
fmlgiraffe 23
If I smacked you, I'm pretty sure you'd call the Cops.
ForFudgeSake 6
Well, quit fartin' around!