Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Own it!
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Never trust your anus
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Get a load of this
Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML
Stressed out
Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML
Top comments
MarvelFF1243 0
Maybe because she's on a escalator.
luvppl 6
Sorry I read elevator... I made a mistake but thanks for pointing out that it said escalator :)
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Comments (154)
luvppl 6
Well did it smell? And how is ur face near her bottom?
MarvelFF1243 0
Maybe because she's on a escalator.
colecola12 0
You're ******* retarded.
luvppl 6
Sorry I read elevator... I made a mistake but thanks for pointing out that it said escalator :)
Jovecove 13
Spank it.
belkinbra 12
How is this an FML, you got farted on. Get over it, stop being a little pussy and clothes line her into a nursing home.
yamatelle 19
26 has obviously never been farted on, especially with a 'silent, but deadly' one. The smell goes up your sinuses and lingers for a couple of hours, so that all you can smell is shit. That's not something you can just get over easily.
Abdul888 16
Hopefully the smell wasn't deadly. Usually the silent farts (not sure if they're called farts) are the deadly ones that usually happen in public crowded places, yuck.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Was your mouth open?
iluvhobos 5
At least she wasn't a big woman? (:
Palirose 22
74- I don't think size makes a difference my brothers girlfriend, weighs no more than like 120 and she's slim slender, makes the most disgusting farts. Plus it's about what you eat. More protein in your diet the more stinky. At least this is what I've heard.
Georgieeporgiee 9
I believe you just got owned!
elizabeth9m 4
Love is in the air (:
_Oblivion_ 12
Shove a silencer up her ass and hang a car freshener there too
writergirl23 19
Palirose, it's actually carbohydrates that make you fart stinkier. You know, bread, potato, chips, lollies ...
Gloria_GDA 0
That's really gross. My grandma farted on me once, when I was about 17.
kbobcat 0
That stinks.
instnt1nfction 17
Next time when you're with the elderly, put a match between their cheeks and explore your curiosity.
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Cool story, bro/ sis
Gloria_GDA 0
Wow. It's sis btw.
yeezheng 6
Epic fail for you to stand so close to the lady in front of you. Guess u love to be farted on your face If not, u love to face someone's else butt .
badactor009 0
It is not an epic failure to take your place in a public space. The failure is all on the part of someone so crude as to relieve themselves in the immediate vicinity of others and act like it is no big deal. It is.
tittymagic 0
He was probably a couple steps down on the escalator unless he dropped something and she timed the fart perfectly.
MichellinMan 20
Ummm... Try not to sound like an asshole in your comments. Utter thumbs down.
Ohmie 5
You must be quite short if her butt lines up with your face
Hypercrush80s 3
Escalators are like stairs, one tier higher than the other...
tragicnightmare 15
exactly what I was going to say. well worded, brother
DavLynn 4
it says on the Fml that it was a small woman
kittykat1501 31
I thought it said elevator
Skittlepickle 13
Revenge is never the answer... But you should burp in her face.
badactor009 0
Are you in third grade?Responding with equally poor manners is not acceptable either. How about getting the persons attention and telling them that their behavior is not appreciated. How about that?
Lady_Bee_fml 13
You mean you would actually have tapped that woman on the shoulder and told her off for farting on you? O.o
Ohmie 5
Piss on her.
Jdimp 1
smack that ass
MrLookAtThere 10
That blows.... .... ASS!!!
HideouslyHuman 10
Don't feel bad,so did I.
HideouslyHuman 10
How the..I didnt blow any of those if you were wondering,This is in regards to someone who said they thought it said elevator...and apparently the Easter rabbit runs FML...
WCARlover 35
How is your face level with her butt? Not trying to be rude but you must be a midget?
WCARlover 35
Oh lmao an escalator. I read "elevator". I'm an idiot...carry on
skyttlz 32
It's ok so did I
txgirl2013 14
Did you give her the stank face?
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
More like did she give u the stinky legg?
heyhihello95 12
At least she's small