Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
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Top comments
machiko_fml 0
He beat you to it. Should've said "Ew, gross Dad!"
perdix 31
"Thanks for trying to cover it up, Dad, but I queefed!" Nobody would believe your denial, so making it grosser is the way to go.
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Comments (55)
crumbycool881 0
balls to u
whoisthisgirl 4
ray william johnson, mhmmm. and that's funny my dad would do that
lideke 1
RWJ dominates the world.
YummiGummi 0
-BALLZ- TO YOU hahahaha =3
Cjw1220 0
This is very similar to the one, but it was actually a guys mother in that one. Seems like a copied FML. Ballz to you too!
form434 5
yes, and balls to you sir. ;)
stacster 0
ummm...I guess I'm just gonna win by saying... TWO CAMELS IN A TINY CAR!
maybaybe 0
Damn it 59! Hahaha :P
Bosia 0
Hm. When I let one rip in public, I blame it on the dog — I bring that guy everywhere with me. Maybe I should consider getting a daughter, instead.
xoconnie 8
LOL that's something my dad would do!
gooBUZZ 0
Bahaha, win for the dad.
ryanst 7
Am I the only one who imagined her father saying that in a very proud tone?
cowmeleon 2
my dad does that ALL the except it's loud. very loud.
beastxmanx45123 0
#67, picture win.
Whytetrash 21
That's what dads do, embarrass their children. Should have laughed it off.
machiko_fml 0
He beat you to it. Should've said "Ew, gross Dad!"
Shaebug12 0
OH MY GOD!!! i was there, i giggled!!!!!!!!! lol what a small frieken world!!!!! :))
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
Or just start flinching every time he turns to you in the store.
Person58 17
No matter how bad a fart is I really cant imagine anyone actually GAGGING.
InsaneGenius 0
My husband did that to me in Lowes!
jessi_ld 2
ahaha!!! love the picture there! as for this "fml" not an fml! just about everyone has had the blame game pulled on them!
White_Fury 0
Dang #6 that's a little violent don't ya think? I wouldn't wanna get punched in the crotch every time I make a joke. lol.
mariet_fml 23
"Oh no, I am NOT taking the blame for your ass!" Simple.
cristallynn 0
literally his ass
sweetGApeach420 0
hahaha my mom used to do that to me all the time.
talktomandybaby 8
ewie
Annies 20
Same- my mom would make fart noises and then blame them on me. In public. it was not funny the first time and I’d repeatedly tell her to stop and it makes me uncomfortable, but she just kept on...
Dibman 3
Poor you. My dad does shit like that all the time except my sisters always get away with it and i'm the one who gets the blame :( I know how you feel lol
kikibisweet 0
First one said it spread! First one knew it blew it! Say these lines! lol
DakotaCat 4
Blaming a fart on your daughter is like blaming a bald asian man for leaving his blond hair on the carpet. No ones gunna believe him cuz we know it's biologically impossible for girls to fart