Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
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Top comments
doodlecloud 27
Is it just your thighs against the seat? I don't think you have to be particularly fat for that, especially if it was a slightly rounded seat. Maybe it wouldn't happen to a really skinny person but I think it could happen to a regular person so no need to be ashamed...I'm sure I must've done this before. Hell, at the moment my feet are making fart noises in my sandals...it's more about shape than 'fatness'.
shivamtrivedi 24
Yeah. I sympathise with you. But take it as motivation to exercise. I hope things work out for you.
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Comments (88)
jklolz94 10
Yea... I know the feeling. :/
Rinat_fml 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Imagine how many calories you could of burned instead of writing this FML?
greeneyebeauty9 28
Okay #5 there was absolutely no need to be an ass. oh, and *could HAVE. not could of.
southernpride567 8
Hey #11 she has a point to what she's sayin, don't get mad because she spoke the truth, the truth hurts. How many calories could you burn a day if you worked out instead if used your phone? Honesty? How often do you use/look at your phone? That's the truth and the truth hurts.
Rinat_fml 26
B*tch please. The last thing I care about is my grammar. I have no sympathy for fat people - I used to be one.
Omegapi197 12
Unless she types extremely slow not enough to count.
greeneyebeauty9 28
Hey #37. you're an ass too. okay she could be working out instead of using her phone. but almost everyone I know, skinny or on the larger side, would rather play on their phone more than they would want to work out and burn calories. Plus OP could rarely get on FML for all you know. Maybe OP does work out and just can't lose the weight. it's harder for some people to lose weight than others. don't be an ass and assume. give op the benefit of the doubt.
southernpride567 8
Well #50 the "benefit of the doubt" isn't crap, like I said, if she really wants to lose weight then she'll put the phone down an go work out instead, even if "most people would rather play on their phone instead if work out," the point is that OP is feelin ashamed of her weight and if she REALLY wanted to do something about it then she would work out. I don't see why people are disliking my comments because it's the truth regardless of if it hurts or not. I haven't said anything offensive or rude, all I've done is explain putting the phone down and working out will help people lose weight even if it's "hard to lose weight for some people." With enough effort and correct eating ANYBODY can lose ANY amount of weight they want. It's all about self motivation and actually wanting to change your life. Nobody loses weight by being on their phone.
southernpride567 8
Also #50 I didn't assume anything, I simply stated that gettin off the phone and workin out would help OP lose weight. As for your language I hope you feel like a big girl for usin vulgar language on an app. Good job, I praise you for your courage and commitment to the cause of trash talkin. You're parents would be so proud. You deserve a Nobel prize. You deserve a record deal. Jesus great job for callin people names and using vulgar language. The world is your oyster. But wait... I FORGOT! You can't have an opinion on the internet because it's wrong apparently! All well, good job! We're all so proud of your FML accomplishments. So proud.
southernpride567 8
I'd like to make a point on what I just said about opinions! "I'm Gabriella, I'm 16 years young.... Keep your opinions to yourself." Have a nice day now, I'm about done talkin to you, you're just blowin smoke.
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
Southernpride seems a tad bit butthurt...
Frammy007 7
#11 Take your own advice - there's no need to be an ass. #5 spoke the truth, most people in the western world could burn a lot more calories if they got off their phones/computers and bothered to exercise a little tiny bit.
bravesgirl55 11
Damn... You are all getting way too worked up about this!
incoherentrmblr 22
At least your neck doesn't fart like the other person in their FML...
shivamtrivedi 24
Yeah. I sympathise with you. But take it as motivation to exercise. I hope things work out for you.
cakefete2 31
I see what you did there. I almost missed it. Well my friend. A successful exercise, if you will, in how to use a pun properly.
stillalive33 14
Don't worry about it. In my 7th grade class we had a kid who weighed 500 pounds. He didn't care, so we didn't
blaw24 1
Don't worry about it? That's horrible advice considering all the health risks
greeneyebeauty9 28
I agree OP shouldn't care what other people think, but letting herself go even more probably wouldn't be a good idea either. OP needs to try and get over people's opinions and try and slim up because she wants to; not because of what these people think.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Did he actually weigh 500lbs, or is this yet another case of people seeing a fat person and plucking a figure? That seems unlikely for someone still in school.
Respect101 17
In all reality he probably weighed 300 something pounds. 500 is hard to reach even for a grown adult.
Frammy007 7
Wow so they shouldn't care about their health and being around for the people who love them? And 500 lbs in grade 5?! Child protective services should have taken that child away - that is so unhealthy and unsafe for a fully grown man of 6'8" never mind a child in grade five! You disgust me for thinking that is okay.
cryssycakesx3 23
in the end though, aren't people ashamed of their weight (and want to do it for themselves) because of other people?
PhotoSmith 25
No. My choice to lose weight was for MYself. I don't care that people think I'm fat. It's only when they voice their opinions about what fat people are (i.e. gross, ugly, over-eaters, etc), that is when I get angry. I have lost sixty pounds, and have sixty to go to get under 300. (6'3") And for those that want to know, I changed to a low carb diet, with mild exercise due to the arthritis on my knees. Apologies for the rant.
grossn 12
There is no way someone who is 13 can weigh 500 pounds (225kg). Good on you as well #79! Keep it up :)
doodlecloud 27
Is it just your thighs against the seat? I don't think you have to be particularly fat for that, especially if it was a slightly rounded seat. Maybe it wouldn't happen to a really skinny person but I think it could happen to a regular person so no need to be ashamed...I'm sure I must've done this before. Hell, at the moment my feet are making fart noises in my sandals...it's more about shape than 'fatness'.
greeneyebeauty9 28
I agree. I weigh a little over 100 pounds and my sandals make farting noises all the time when I walk. in class, I've had my thighs making a farting noise too. I really think that weight is a verryy small factor. #6 is right. It's more about size.
greeneyebeauty9 28
*sighs* shape.. I meant shape.
rocker_chick105 31
My thighs have done that before too and I'm not overweight. While the extra weight may make it a little easier to do, it isn't all because of the weight.
wondercat40 28
That's probably right. I can make noises as well, and I used to be underweight. Maybe I never made any with my thighs, but on a hot day everyone probably squeaks a little. For me, my hands are the worst.
miss_amphetamine 24
Lol I'm 5'6 and 125 lbs, not skinny but definitely not fat, and this has happened to me plenty of times lol
alaen23 23
You won't loose weight with an attitude like that honey
thevelociraptor 31
What makes you think she has an attitude??? To me it sounds like this FML is a good reason for her to start eating right and/or exercising.
MathildeDamm 17
you won't either, but we leave you the **** alone now, don't we
VVivian 5
Being fat doesn't make you any less valuable of a person, OP. I hope you can disregard the bigoted comments people are posting about you. You deserve to be treated with decency.
strike2867 13
I use to be fat, and more than anything I hated how it made me less of a person. My daily accomplishments have more than doubled since I've lost some weight.
EbyKat 16
So by your estimation op really is less of a person? People like you can up and die and make the world a kinder place. Where the hell is your compassion? What kind of person are you?
cakefete2 31
23 is talking about the boosts of self esteem, confidence, and energy that he achieved. Even if you're trying to seem supportive of OP, 28, you don't have to be a jerk about it.
xvrhdez 5
It does not make him any less but is a healt issue, i hate and feel bad for people when i see them in a shopping driving cart with oxygen masks. Asthmatic people have gotten rid of it by exercising
ulissey_fml 22
Next time it happens I hope somebody will give a small sigh..... Joke apart, no-one should judge you, not even yourself, it just makes things worse. But i'm sure there are people who can offer bona fide help.
ylime23456 18
That probably didn't have anything to do with the fat on your body, just the skin. Especially when it's hot out skin tends to get moist and sticky.
mechaix101 2
Thats the nastyest thing ive heard all day.
MissSatan 16
Time to fill out an application for The Biggest Loser now in case that diet doesn't work out anytime soon
MrConcise 35
Go be embarrassed about sitting down while you're self-conscious about your weight instead.