Strong bonds

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

Today, my daughter apparently has had enough of my mother-in-law's favoritism and constant bashing of me by telling her, "Grandma, might I highly recommend death at this point?" She's 7. FML

Beautiful sentiment

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

Thank you for your service

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

Daddy! No!

Today, I have to figure out how to explain to my 6 year-old daughter when she gets home from school that she won’t be having a birthday party anymore, because she caught daddy having it off with the babysitter, and now we have nowhere to live. FML

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML