Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
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Top comments
HSOMGF 5
You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.
suavesuave 2
If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different
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Comments (226)
Vlamblam 1
This website is disgusting for posting this story! Domestic violence against men is not funny, it's just as horrible as a man beating his wife! Sexist admins.
smashgrab 0
TI actually kinda hope you hit him with the computer, just so he would be justified in beating your ass.
athos1237 4
Maybe he should file domestic violence charges against you and use your FML post as evidence since you admit to assault. Clearly you fall into the Can't Understand Normal Thinking category.
QWERTYCommander 5
I'm sure that you are, but are you aware of the acronym that club name makes?
Akers_L7 8
An example of the double standard in this FML.
kchabot 2
Hahahahah!! Thats awesome!!!!:))
bubo_fml 11
An old girlfriend threw a lamp at me once...The make up sex was awesome...Doggie style on the balcony during a parade!
Pazu_fml 10
YDI for resorting to violence, possibly damaging an expensive item, and being loud enough for the neighbors to hear everything. Your neighbor is a good sport, though. Props to him (or her).
Courtney_Sanders 6
Why in the world would you assult your husband with a laptop? Actually, why would you assult your husband period!? You need some kind of therapy and your husband needs to find a wife that will not beat him and then post an FML about it. YDI
PenelopeRamirez_fml 4
The FML is obviously about the neighbor being able to hear either that or its made up...
mojo87 14
The only thing more disturbing, than this FML, is the fact that some people have actually clicked "I agree, your life sucks." It's not like OP grabbed the laptop is an attempt to defend herself. She's purely decided to be aggressive.