Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML
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Top comments
ole_sidai 4
I wasn't aware lesbians had facial hair.
flockz 20
hey at least your facial hair was longer than kim kardashian's marriage.
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Comments (124)
FollowMe 2
Ummm. Hair grew IN your eyes? I don't agree with that being manly at all. Good Luck with that. xD
smb12346 17
Please read again
gunmania0 12
Unfunny person not funny!
FollowMe 2
Was not trying to be funny. Oh lol. Just got it. I apologize, my bad! Hair grew on his face and Was able to reach his eyes and thinking that makes him manly. Still doesn't lol.
m0tl3ycru3 0
FAIL!
guse72 1
Lmfao! U failed.. Twice
Sirin_fml 47
I have hair; Alan does not. Therefore, his words are tainted with jealousy. Q.E.D.
builditbetter09 3
U fucken serious^^^
builditbetter09 3
My bad meant that for 16
BeachBoi_Alex 7
phaggy time Sirin.
MikeDa1Da 14
1- your humor isn't funny. It just makes you look like a lesbian.
KindaFunnyRight 8
So what does that make you Alan?
KiddNYC1O 22
I've seen Sirin(yes, bragging lol) and she's a pretty gal.
Naitsi 19
agre
FollowMe 2
Lol you guys are so rude so watch me fail. Well correct me before. w/e
j_cat187 20
Damn, even a moderator is getting in on this. FAIL
BayleeWasHere 1
Your humor is just like your picture.
irelabdlad44 0
Fool look at your profile picture. You ain't no man either
ihasbrains 10
It must have been a reasonable mistake; the wording of the FML got changed. I read it a few times before I got it, granted I was only half-awake.
twistedlovex 0
Would you all just leave the guy alone! Sure he made a simple mistake. So what?! We all do that's what makes us human! Besides come on he's already got like 70 people telling him that he made the mistake anyways so do you really think you telling him it too is going to make a difference at all?! And personally hun, I think your picture is absolutely fantabulous :) Now all of you go back to your lives
arlekin21 0
Did this fml change, because i dont see anything having to do with eyes?
FollowMe 2
Thanks for the nice stuff you guys. I wish there was more people like you. Also thanks for the one person that corrected me. I don't need a bunch of people telling me about my mistakes. They happen.
FollowMe 2
WTF??? It doesn't even mention eyes. I am so confused.
arttyruiz 7
Wow... -_-
FollowMe 2
Yeah I think it changed. :S. sorry, I didn't only confuse you, myself aswell. :(
StoryOfTheYear 15
Peach fuzz. ._. Also was I the only one who read it as OP having facial hair in their eyes?
Awsemogreeb 19
No, #1 is making quite a spectacle out of just that.
m0tl3ycru3 0
When it talks about in the OP's eyes it's refering to the OP's point of view
StoryOfTheYear 15
24- Don't worry I thumbed myself down for plagiarism. 0.o 25- I know, I was just pointing out an oddity in how the FML was written.
StopDropNRoll 11
Did the fml change?! Cause I don't see the word eyes -__-
airforce987 20
I'm assuming that OP wrote something along the lines of "in my eyes" as a use for "in my opinion". Then the mods changed it because it didn't sound right, and obviously caused a grammar storm in the comments.
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah, it's killing me...
TattedUP89 0
no their just retards
Gringe 1
There*
EvilCupcake8361 9
Embrace it, maybe you'll get BO too :)
wishfulmidget 0
i dont see why OP needs approval of his manliness...thats kinda weird...
G97Alex 21
Why get an overrated FPS to become manly? ^^^ That was my failed attempt at humor, I know BO stands for "body odor" so PLEASE don't bury me. Please.
sidkid008 0
Lesbians will now be jealous of you
BehindU 5
Didn't know lesbians had peach fuzz.
bemylove123 9
He's just jealous.
slick5880 22
So according to #5, your dad is a lesbian?
ole_sidai 4
I wasn't aware lesbians had facial hair.
assduffmovie 0
My teacher does except She's no lesbian.
WCARlover 35
Guess you should shave and embrace your baby face? I personally don't like facial hair so that sounds good to me:)
DontModMeDammit 10
More you shave the more it grows.
WCARlover 35
Then he should keep up with it...by the sounds of it I don't imagine he'll have to shave often...
OfMiceAndMen_fml 0
Lol beards and mustaches are very over rated... On a completely unrelated not nice band choices wcarlover I like almost all of those bands
shyeahh_fml 19
lol WCAR and OM&M. amazing bands and usernames.
StoryOfTheYear 15
*Leaves comment due to relevancy* Alright I'll leave now.
StopDropNRoll 11
8- glad you don't like facial hair I don't like it on women either. But if op shaved and it grew back faster and thicker then maybe he might look manly enough for his dad to approve? Hmm. I think what you meant was you dont like facial hair on men. I just got it :(
murdersquirrel 15
That is a myth. Shaving has no effect on hair density or thickness. It leaves the end of the hair blunt which merely gives the impression of a thicker strand. Hair growth happens in the follicle, under the skin. Shaving couldn't possibly affect the hair except to shorten it to skin level.
shrdlu 28
At least that's one problem that can be solved just by waiting... a couple of years should do it.
s0m3guy2010 21
What's even scarier is that you would actually become a lesbian if you decided to step outside in the middle of December.
flockz 20
hey at least your facial hair was longer than kim kardashian's marriage.
GP14brBaller 5
Winning!
exleonhart 0
But not quite as long as Tiger Woods affair list.