Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
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Top comments
HSOMGF 5
You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.
suavesuave 2
If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different
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Comments (226)
Struggs 2
Hahaha!! That is awesome. (What your neighbor said). Honestly, no matter the argument I doubt I'd be able to keep a straight face. But please do get some help, assaulting your man with a laptop is not the look. So do what you gotta do, girl!
asousa 1
That is awesome
dwar79 1
Ur a dumb bimbo
gunman15 4
So did you follow the advice or put it down to post on Fmylife
mdtdnb 7
165 - it's b/c women are the cause
MisterEx 28
Never assault a man with a laptop. No argument is worthy losing **** stash for.
curios 0
Hun if you feel the need to assault him then obviously u r lacking something in ur relationship.....plz don't have kids
Posey_fml 7
Wtf? Why are is the OP on the internet and not in jail for domestic assault? I'm a girl and it baffles me as to why women get away with it when if it was a man all the comments would be along the lines of him being a crazy asshole ad how everyone needs to stay away from him. A woman? 'LOL, that's so funny, your neighbors so cool'. Just for the record, if I was a guy and a woman hit me I wouldn't hesitate to knock her the hell out. If a women throws a punch, she can learn to take one.
betsiethebeast 0
How is this even an FML? You tried assaulting someone with a laptop.
Jasonf6 0
But it would be a totally different story if he tried the same thing right?