Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
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Top comments
HSOMGF 5
You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.
suavesuave 2
If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different
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Comments (226)
JryanM 0
I think you meant *all women*
modernbenoni 8
You could not be more wrong.
ImafukNskittleYO 4
Awesome eavesdropping neighbor there OP.
rofflewaffle 9
If the gender roles were reversed, the first 30 comments would be "omg leave him!! Put that asshole in jail!" There is a huge double-standard, and it sickens me. This crazy bitch OP is no better than a man that smacks his wife, and society needs to see it that way.
Emperorerror 8
You tried to assault him with a laptop? The ****? Jesus, women, you're a crazy insane bitch!
Cambria91 4
if this was just an argument i wonder what a fight would be. I think when u start hitting your partner with anything its time to call it quits or get therapy. And who the hell posts something like that... Maybe if u and your hubby could act like civilized people u wouldnt have to worry about your neighbor hearing.
unixdude 9
The best part is that hubby could claim self defense and kill the dumb bitch.
ohmyhotdogonabun 0
The last part about the neighbor is actually kinda funny
Timmeeh 17
I like how you drop in "I tried to assault him with a laptop" as if that's the height of normalcy.
Casserr 0
I'd just like to point out that the mass majority of serial killers/rapists/criminals are men, acts that are not necessarily what one would consider sane if you ask me. I have nothing against men as a whole but since were over-generalizing and throwing out misogynistic remarks here might as well.