Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
jonjonguapito 15
I guess you pissed him off
chaseafterwind82 29
Should have pissed on the fly instead.
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Comments (95)
jonjonguapito 15
I guess you pissed him off
ohSNAPyall 27
Sounds like he pissed him on.
hacksaw246 24
Better to be pissed of than pissed.. Oh wait
JohnTheDonJuan 11
How was the fly harassing you? Was it of a sexual nature? Or more in the line of bullying? I'm very curious. .
Queensland 27
Wtf #32? Sexual nature? ...
JohnTheDonJuan 11
It was a joke... because he said harassing. Not many people describe a fly as harassing them.
milehigh52 22
Harassing literally means to bother. So yes, the fly was harassing OP.
Ted_brosby 4
People tend to get pissed off if they get pissed on
ariasmake1 9
I strongly dislike your comment.
ariasmake1 9
You're as creepy as your profile pic.
RayRey009 5
I really don't see why ppl dislike your comment so much. I think it's hilarious and it makes sense. Who tf says "a fly was harassing me"?
Jakk100 20
Did you at least do your fly up when you left?
Liyuesigs 8
Can you blame him?
thecrazymancan 17
I know I could.
emeraldisle 30
I would've punched you too. Next time pay attention to you're doing.
lambda_fml 40
what
DoWT 11
Time to move out
SPN_lover666 27
Wrong FML.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
He doesn't live in the ******* urinal.
Mcstud1y 30
42 this made my day
milehigh52 22
42 your picture made my day.
summer4me 25
Next time choose your fights a little more wisely. No fly is worth your face.
demetrius1551 15
did you fight back? you may have deserved it but never go out without hittin back
tantanpanda 26
What kind of stupid maxim is that? Even if it's your fault, punch them back anyway? Genius train of logic /sarcasm
jogihoppa8343 23
you mean it would've been a good idea to urinate on someone first and fight back consequently after getting hit on the face? who are you ??
legendairy3000 16
This guys only 14, you have to remember that.
cksmith51 14
Maybe he was just trying to hit the fly, too.
mrut92 17
In all honesty...ydi. If a fly big enough to do that was harassing me I'd be like its cool man I'll leave.
Cassandra2015 21
Your joking right ?
slutfactory 17
**You're
Cassandra2015 21
My sincere apologizes for spelling something wrong .