Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HSOMGF 5
You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.
suavesuave 2
If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (226)
EvilDave 13
Look at all the hypocrites who think domestic violence is OK as long as it is the woman hitting the man. OP, what you deserve is to be in jail.
hyrax77 0
When I was 12 my dad was beat with a computer monitor by his girlfriend at the time. She pulled his earring out and made him bleed. What happen to her? Nothing. My dad spent a night in jail because he was abused by a girl. The fight started because he reminded her to take her bi polar medicine.
BillGapes 4
Yeah, don't assault people. Or try to.
1two3four5six 23
quit saying YDI how do u kno they didnt mean it as self defense but forgot to type that? how do u kno if they r a girl? how do u kno that she wasn't actually gonna hurt him? U DONT KNO THE CIRCUMSTANCES SO STFU!
Struggs 2
You're getting too angry over this post.
cheerxoxo84 8
hahaha too funny! (:
emsiti 6
If she was a dude and he was a girl this would be tottaly diffrent
sweettpie129 11
Omfg I love your neighbor
Cheerx7 0
Your life doesnt suck
iMagzzzy 0
You. Are. Retarded
rexgar2000 10
that's ******* hilarious. I pictured it and just made my day.