Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
I would be lying if I told you it wasn't funny.
wanted_2_want 40
That must’ve been a MASSIVE crap !!
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Comments (22)
wanted_2_want 40
That must’ve been a MASSIVE crap !!
Lobby_Bee 18
I would be lying if I told you it wasn't funny.
lexos 16
4000$, Don't you have a insurance?
julfunky 29
Even with insurance the price can be pretty steep. An ambulance ride alone can cost over $1000 depending where you live and if your insurance deems it non-life threatening then you’re paying that out of pocket. Insurance doesn’t cover as much as people would like it to.
thisisbutaname 38
$4000 for an ambulance ride. Tell that's not absurd
alycion 39
My insurance wouldn’t cover the ambo when I had my heart attack. And after they paid, I still owed 250k. And it was 100% blockage so the ride was necessary.
skippydoda 32
My mom paid an extra $1500 a year to cover the cost of an ambulance because a single ride could cost $2000 each.
lexos 16
Damn you Americans really have a expensive health care system.
Cali 57
Was it ever worth it? That cost would outweigh the benefit unless you rode in an ambulance every year.
RichardPencil 32
With friends like that, who needs enemas? You do!
ChromoTec 24
What a crack-tastrophe! But in all seriousness, I hope you get better soon.
ezrajab 22
I think you mean CRAP-tastrophy
ezrajab 22
Forgive my spelling
ChromoTec 24
I noticed that after I posted it XD
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
So what happened that the paramedics were called?
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
he cracked his back
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
tbf I think I'd make jokes about that for a long time as well...
rodfergie 18
I showed this to everyone at my work, and MY co-workers won't shut up about it either!
Tarlachia 33
It’s as if you took the latter part of the phrase “Shit or get off the pot” way more seriously than necessary.
Tarlachia 33
*Kids playing outside the home* (Sing-song) “Don’t step on the crack, or you’ll break your mother’s back.” *crack is stepped on* *distant screaming*