Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML
Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
macystar 14
Well then. It could have been worse.
DeoVolente 13
"When this one stops" ~kicks in nuts~
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Comments (87)
macystar 14
Well then. It could have been worse.
MichellinMan 20
I don't want to say it couldn't, because her husband could've simply hit her in the face with a crow bar. Yes, it makes no sense. But it's worse.
tiernang 21
way to think on the bright side I guess...
macystar 14
He could have punched her in the gut like on that YouTube video "nap time".
niallo 23
At least he's happy about it.
gracehi 33
Yeah, he could have left, claiming to be getting wine to celebrate, and then never returned. That would have been WAY worse.
Emiler98 11
He could have left op. At least he seems to have a sense of humor too :)
HalluMihar 8
Umm, unless you haven't read it properly, he's her HUSBAND dude. He wouldn't leave.. err would he? So much for commitment.
vipirius 18
58, If you're still asking that question, you're obviously new to FML.
RoboCunnilingus 23
#58- If you're asking that question, you're probably new to humanity.
revan546 24
Well... When do they?
joopjoop 19
near the end of the pregnancy
revan546 24
That was rhetorical
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Rhetoric, like sarcasm, go over some people's heads like a 747.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
*goes
phreaker913 21
Its a guy thing lol. I said it too
MichellinMan 20
If I get married, I'm not gonna act like a jackass when she tells me she's pregnant.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Jokes on you, jackasses make the best husbands.
Ebolaconflict 11
man can anyone take a joke?
davidislost 11
Only if it's funny :D
DeoVolente 13
"When this one stops" ~kicks in nuts~
Blink_me26 21
Oh snap
KushCrushin89 10
Yeah, nothing like causing extreme physical pain over a little joke. Over-reaction ftw!!!
DeoVolente 13
@59 I don't think you quite understood the joke there, points for effort though
KushCrushin89 10
I got the joke, but at the same time I'm tired of everyone's reaction to be "kick him in the nuts!". I mean, not all of those comments are jokes and why is it ok to just haul off and kick someone in the balls? If you hit a woman like that you'd be a criminal, but men deserve it? Let's have a little equality here.
NerdilyDone 7
No way. He's making a silly joke. You're going too far.
sethr_di 15
lol
Abenti 8
At least your boobs are large enough to be honked.
klorehore 24
I guess pretty much any boob could be honked, if you just pinch hard enough.
MichellinMan 20
8# I cringed a little when I read that.
FangirlingAlways 14
#13 I think everyone did....
phatdaddy62 23
Actually, some people are really into it!
goose12321 11
#48 I didn't
bbambastic 16
Too soon?
KillSwitch96 18
Yeah.......... If anything was too soon, it was when his "faucet" started running.
KingreX32 21
LOL well that's um......interesting.
noobienick 19
Why did you even comment?
MisterDoge 14
I bet he will try other methods while you are asleep.
Weird_situations 13
How endearing!! At least he's supportive
olpally 33
At least he didn't run to go buy wine and never came back like in a previous FML.. Haha.