Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML
Today, I found out that several coworkers had been complaining about me behind my back for a couple of weeks, including to my manager. When my manager finally brought the issue up to me, he realized that I hadn’t done anything wrong; there was an error in our computer system. Nobody has apologized. FML
Today, I found out about a mistake I made at work when the director brought it up in an all-staff meeting, including staff from a different office. It was the first I time I'd heard about it - along with everyone else. Not as fun as it sounds. FML
Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML
Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML
Today, I found out I’m the “smelly girl” in the office. Now I understand all those passive-aggressive subtle comments about hygiene and showering made by my coworkers, and why a bottle of Dial body wash randomly appeared on my desk one day. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
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Top comments
Awsemogreeb 19
Now get to work on the other things.
Harpy20 24
Well now you can fix it all.
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Comments (38)
Awsemogreeb 19
Now get to work on the other things.
Pleonasm 36
Like how OP says "Oh my gravy" at everything.
MrsAlexander83 10
Loved your response!!! Fabulous!
Firuzzy 10
23- Wrong FML, The two anonymous people are not the same,
Harpy20 24
Well now you can fix it all.
Screwie 25
Use that coffee in there to clean your toothbrush while you're taking care of your teeth, it will probably make everyone happy as long as they don't find out.
zandalee 20
What the ****?
cameron194 9
Coffee to clean a toothbrush .. You know , I'm pretty sure people brush their teeth to clean and get rid of coffee/other food stains.. Rinsing a toothbrush in coffee, probably not the brightest idea. :/
spazz666 18
I think they were saying for OP to clean his toothbrush in their coffee.
goldfishgod 20
I tell you, officemates can be ******* bitches.
savage93 11
Unless its like the show The Office, they have a good time at there work lol.
CharresBarkrey 16
Honestly, OP should have better personal hygiene if working with other people. Their coworkers shouldn't have to be subjected to dealing with that.
onlychildFTW 34
OP has some hygiene problems that need to be addressed.
Lant 6
I cant stand when im workig with someone and they smell like garbage it reallymakes it hard to respect them
vbmg152 19
Looks like you need to work on your hygiene! Take a shower & brush your teeth!
KiddNYC1O 22
Some people can't help it and suffer from chronic bad breath. Remember that Tyra Banks show episode?? Lol
Achall91 17
Atleast now you've got something else to do. Buy a toothbrush, minty toothpaste, and some mouthwash. Seriously.
CrissyyyS2 22
The truth hurts? Nah! Screw em OP. Just go sighing your breathe in their faces :>
CrissyyyS2 22
Breath* ): Gah fail.
twinkiefeets 17
Op you might want to step up your personal grooming.
Brenda37 13
I bet a moment of awkward silence ensued after you told them the actual problem you fixed... How uncomfortable. Well anyways OP, now you know what areas you need to work on so make a better effort to be more hygienic.
annie_nk 23
Although what your coworkers said was harsh, you kinda set yourself up for that one.