Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a date to a new restaurant I’d never been to before. Wish I had been because it turns out two of my ex-girlfriends work there as waitresses. Luckily they were amicable break-ups, but it was still hella awkward every time they brought stuff to the table. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML
Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
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Top comments
mectain 13
I'm really truly sorry for that. that's just cold.
Daxwax 8
You should have done it. She totally deserve it!
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Comments (244)
AbelChu 3
bitch, don't remember her,forget it
shessovain 7
As much as I'm sure that sucked, kudos for still being a good guy and not spitting in their food.
captainsmegma 12
Drag your dick across the plate before serving.
ethan_unoxx 29
that is ****** up. sorry OP. get a "new girlfriend" to get back at her.
itskris96 2
Damn, sorry man. /:
mld4657 28
ouch man I'm sorry
ethan_unoxx 29
he can talk to the manager. to ban them
mikelangele 15
its simple. next time you meet her ask her if she enjoyed your spit. it doesn't have to be true, you just need her to believe it is true. what is she going to do? call the restaurant? even if she does who is going to do anything about it. It's too late.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
Agree, and it's hearsay, she can't prove it. Totally safe. ;)
Abelmank 6
Wait, so she's cheating on you, or is she your ex?
ethan_unoxx 29
she said the guy was her new boyfriend. she is now his ex.
JuggaloSimms1441 16
Should've put Visine in their drinks fuuuuuuuuck spit bro!