Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML
Today, I had a meeting in the town where my ex-girlfriend works. After the meeting, I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench in a public place. She came across with her girlfriends laughing and obviously having fun. She only looked in my direction briefly. I threw the ice cream into the trash. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Uh-oh, spaghetti-o!
CaptNomNom 17
I read it as 2 hours. Screw my dyslexic...
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Comments (111)
jess_1193 13
What's your current Gf say / do!?
ycrem0n 21
*What did your current girlfriend say/do? (my fingers typed on their own)
RaggleFrock 13
If I was your girlfriend I would have threw my food over her.
RussianFox 13
I'm surprised OP didn't retaliate and put her in her place.
Keevarou 17
Fox. He did the right thing, he did not stoop down to her level
patrickalamo 48
Restraining order...
RussianFox 13
25- That is true, I admit to my mistake. OP showed self-restraint which is something most people have trouble with. (Myself included)
WritingWrongs 8
-1, Were I to hazard a guess, I would say the OP's current "gf" said something along the lines of "Why did that girl throw spaghetti at your face?", but that's just me.
TechnicolorNova 7
@ 25 Yes, but he could have stood up for himself by saying something at least. Stooping down to her level would be throwing food back at her.
Osito2011 9
He should of said " excuse me, I will be right back" snatch his ex up to bring her back to the restaurant and have her apologies to his current girlfriend.
CaptNomNom 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Pretty low of you to get a new girlfriend 2 hours later. It's like you never loved your ex.
CaptNomNom 17
I read it as 2 hours. Screw my dyslexic...
loloalltheway 23
It was 2 YEARS later... Edit: I saw you fixed your mistake, good :)
CaptNomNom 17
Apparently I can't edit my comment...
jsl6728 2
Still funnier with two hours. OP has more game that way.
pradip 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well mistakes happen if u are striving to get the top spot, rather than actually read and comment.
eggmarie 25
63: go google what dyslexia is before making ignorant remarks.
Mrjangleybits 1
Oh Pradip, you and your terribly stupid comments
Jirekianu2 19
You'd think someone with dyslexia would know to carefully read things before jumping to a conclusion.
herpderpherpderp 13
89- no, you wouldn't think that.
awessumpossum 5
said no one. ever.
WritingWrongs 8
-11, what I find funniest is the way OP described his ex-girlfriend's actions, she was "seemingly" angry. There is spaghetti dripping down his face, but she only seems angry. You know you're not "in-tune" with someone else's emotions when a plate of spaghetti to the face is subtle. One might wonder if this had something to do with the breakup.
obnum 19
She should really move on...
MelTheGreat 23
Agreed. She's probably the same type of ex who shows up at her ex's weddings.
Posthuman 26
"I now pronounce you man and-" *ex shoves the wedding cake in OP's face* "******* DOUCHEHOLE!!!"
KiddNYC1O 22
Oh, she's moving alright.
FML_Master2133 6
56 - they could still be friends in that situation.
Pleonasm 36
Uh-oh, spaghetti-o!
MalloryKnox 8
Your comment + the mustache + the Italian accent I'm pretending you have = comedy gold.
Keevarou 17
Woah, good thing you got out of that relationship, at least you maybe have a better girlfriend now :) So that's a good thing, enjoy your relationship, don't let your overly jealous ex get in your way
jsl6728 2
Bloop
MURIKKA 11
Well that's one way to say "I hate you".
Pleonasm 36
Well, it WOULD be easier if he had ordered alphabet soup.
countryrose92 23
Funny
astoryofroses 9
wow talk about desperate :P
MissAmz 7
She's not desperate.. She's angry. (Duh.)
Z_Diggy 8
She might still be angry, but that's just a guess.
1happymummy 14
How is it possible to maintain a grudge that long? O.o
CharresBarkrey 16
People keep grudges for decades. Two years is nothing.
DanniNell 13
My grandpa has had a 18 year old grudge over me. It all started because of my mom treating him badly. I've never done anything wrong to him and he treats me like shit.