Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a date to a new restaurant I’d never been to before. Wish I had been because it turns out two of my ex-girlfriends work there as waitresses. Luckily they were amicable break-ups, but it was still hella awkward every time they brought stuff to the table. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML
Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
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Top comments
mectain 13
I'm really truly sorry for that. that's just cold.
Daxwax 8
You should have done it. She totally deserve it!
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Comments (244)
1947Chevy 17
She has a special place setup for her in hell
kamehamehadoken 2
I don't feel bad for you
mangelon86 15
Oh the things I would have done to their food. That movie Waiting would be rated G in comparison.
Morning_fml 22
Props to you for being able to keep your cool at the very least. Some people that would be in your position would've probably easily lost it. Everybody on FML knows that she's a backstabbing, heartless bitch, so we got your back, OP.
Adri3025 9
Awww :( she is rude for doing that. So sorry that happened to you. She's not worth your time :(
teamnikster 9
She didn't deserve you. Stay strong, bro-skillet.
Slackness 10
Top marks for keeping your dignity. Forget revenge, Karma has a way of dishing out what we can't even envisage in the long game.
Fraggled 5
"She was always a cold bitch..." So why the hell were you with her up til this? You should've dumped her ass as soon as you knew that about her. Man the hell up, dude. Come on!
RogueWarrior869 23
@160. If she was that cold, she could have been an abusive person. It's never easy to get away from people like that, especially if you care about them for one or another.
RogueWarrior869 23
for one reason or another.*
Anumayis 34
You shoul've put all kinds of bodily fluid in there.
Randomxnp 10
You dodged a bullet there. Be thankful to be rid of her.