Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML
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Top comments
mjprox 0
ouch.
Chelsea_Grin_10 0
you shud of kept it as a pet n named it cuddles :D
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Comments (108)
mjprox 0
ouch.
hairt 4
HAHAHAHA that's cute!
530boy 0
Did it hiss at you?
illmatic2 16
23- No, racoons are not cute. Trust me.
iskusmarines 0
I had the same problem. You can solve it by shooting the raccoon, or putting poison in the trash.
Skroal_stomper 5
Did he get you? I hope not. I would be worried about rabies.
2kool4skoolyo 0
I like how this stuff only happens to girls I bet OP is blond
KingDingALing 9
**** slap the racoon.
fakeaccountX 6
Ahhhhhhhhhh it's everywhereeee it's in my raccoon wounds :)
iSitt 0
rabies ftw
hairt 4
#38 really?? :( haha. they look so fluffy...
JayJayAttackAtta 5
23, don't listen to him. raccoons are very cute. my biology teacher even has a pet one named fric-frac. no lie
zerobahamut03 2
Omg the garbage bandit! Awww it must've been sooo freakin cute. did you hug it and take it as a pet? like the episode of king of the hill when bobby took one as a friend :)
falluke17 0
family guy reference ftw 61
InvenShun 0
why would you want to kill it?
C19_fml 9
fyl
Poepiepiesie 3
Meh did the lid disappear or something?
zyth 4
they get in everywhere
172pilot 20
lol thats great
Rilakkuma_fml 0
Rawwrrr~!
Ancarnia 0
I hope you got a punch in edgewise.
pachecogirl 0
ouch! :o
Obecny75 0
How is finding a raccoon an FML? Unless it attacked you and you got rabies or something its really not a big deal at all.
kaijapapaya 0
Raccoons are vicious. Of course it's an FML when you intrude on a pissed off creature with claws.
yourlifesfucked 0
nah raccoons are cute. and sometimes vicious. but mostly cute.
GLOCKMAMA 0
I have a pet raccoon & yes she is very cute & sweet & cuddly. Sleeps w/ me & everything However if she doesn't like u she will attack & bite the shit outta u. She doesn't care for my husband much. FHL huh.
Gorillaninja 0
Are u really that stupid? If it was a rat it is still an FML.
jew_lala 11
You all are city slickers- wild raccoons when cornered: aka garbage!! can are extremely crazy and agreesive and they can grow to the size of 50lb dog!
ThePwnapple 0
You deserve it for doing manual labor. who does that anymore?
picklezz123 5
lol
TrillionHearts 0
run!!!
beetman5 4
too late…
TigerMania09 0
haha sucks for you but is it her fault cause ur the one who got the ticket
Zakuraa 0
Wrong fml compadres.
awesomenina_fml 0
wrong fml
LuCanO 0
# 12 FAIL!!!! Anyway FYL OP that must hurt, raccoons are viscious, dangerous creatures.
momony_fml 0
FOOL !! You lose! You get nothing !!
Lils123 0
..Fail, man.. just.. just fail.