Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
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Top comments
real life problems 26
Doesn't she usually just shut up about her feelings? I think she posted about you, first.
RichardPencil 32
Maybe OCB (obsessive-compulsive behavior). OCB only becomes OCD (the disorder) when it starts to interfere with your life. Since there are only three or four stories a day, and it only takes me a minute or two to come up with comments, posting one for every story is not much of a time commitment. This is like improv. The exercise of finding something funny, or at least interesting, in every story is great to maintain cognitive flexibility. You're a poor amateur psychologist to guess bipolar. I never have the depressive phase. Yes, I get sad during sad situations, but I don't have the inexplicable funk associated with the disease. I do find it ironic that I'm getting bashed by someone who wants to be me.
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Comments (12)
wanted_2_want 40
You should hadn’t taken her to the kid’s menu place you went before.
Emma Marshall 19
Wot
Inkoseh 33
Well if you ordered different dishes, it's a better chance that only one would get food poisoning.
real life problems 26
Doesn't she usually just shut up about her feelings? I think she posted about you, first.
chosha_fml 27
That’s adding insult to injury.
cornyrob 33
See? You should've shared your food with her.
Charlie Given 28
Wow that date ended really shitty 😃
RichardPencil 32
So, has your opinion of the restaurant changed? Discuss.
geekynerd88 10
I’ve been thinking the same thing little dick!!
RichardPencil 32
Maybe OCB (obsessive-compulsive behavior). OCB only becomes OCD (the disorder) when it starts to interfere with your life. Since there are only three or four stories a day, and it only takes me a minute or two to come up with comments, posting one for every story is not much of a time commitment. This is like improv. The exercise of finding something funny, or at least interesting, in every story is great to maintain cognitive flexibility. You're a poor amateur psychologist to guess bipolar. I never have the depressive phase. Yes, I get sad during sad situations, but I don't have the inexplicable funk associated with the disease. I do find it ironic that I'm getting bashed by someone who wants to be me.
Davros 12
Dang, who do you call first, Dear Abby or Zagats?