Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe she's a surrogate mother and forgot to tell you?
theshewolf 0
Ultrasounds can be used for things other than pregnancy.
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Comments (151)
onetuffbitch 0
I think she was TRYING to be funny...failed obviously or you wouldn't be here whining about it. Sounds like you don't know her well enough to be having sex with her at all if you're HERE questioning her fidelity to you or her overall virtue. If that's not why you posted this then you're just looking for sympathy by bashing her to strangers which is even worse! I agree with everyone that said you have ultrasounds for a multitude of things and its most likely she was speaking of one of those. For her sake...I hope she's not pregnant with your child! She would be so buy changing a newborn's diapers and yours!
forthelulz_fml 0
How babby formed? How girl get pragnent?
Lovebug_Campbell 0
^Yeah, but why would she have said "It's not yours"? Unless she was totally trying to screw with his head.
forthelulz_fml 0
How babby formed? How girl get pragnent?
Morose_Princess 0
No girl should make that kind of joke. It's horrible, especially when it involves them cheating. That's just despicable and lame. For your sake though, I hope it was just a joke.
free_Aus 0
Ok, so the only way she can KNOW "it's not yours" is if: A. They aren't doing it and she was going elsewhere to get her gap filled. B. She was pregnant before they started dating. This guy doesn't mention how long they have been together, so SHE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN CHEATING. That said, she still deserves a falcon punch. Pro tip: Make all your new girlfriends pee on a stick before you start dating them.
nuga 0
My guess is his girlfriend was joking and he knows this but thought it would make a great fml.
kellster 2
#19, you're a moron. Ultrasounds are used for LOTS of things. I'm guessing the OP's gf saw his stupid look at not realizing this (like you!) and was being sarcastic.
Mikeymikey 4
Ouch.. hope for you she was joking... and that the kid is yours ... wahahahah.... its more like FHL
daytona81 0
hopefully she was just jokin altogether and there is no U.S