Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe she's a surrogate mother and forgot to tell you?
theshewolf 0
Ultrasounds can be used for things other than pregnancy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
jakkal 0
Damn, dude. At least she was honest. Saves you the trip to Maury. FYL
4ndr34 0
Oh by the way...
thepunisher_fml 0
i say dump the bitch and move on
bigcrazymike 6
I hope it wasn't for a baby. I would go with her to her appointment to be sure.
smoothjenkins 0
She might have meant that the ultrasound wasn't yours...just a thought.
meganwearsprada 0
DUMP HER ASS
mutlis 0
Unless she was joking with the "it's not yours" and the ultrasound was for something other than pregnancy (which would be pretty funny ) then this is fake, as usual...yawn.
LovexHate 0
its ****** up ill admit that.. but dude put yourself in her position;; ya know?!. having to tell you straight up like THAT. its kinduh harsh. but you just should be glad that its NOT yours. then you woulda had some problems i guess. but its hard for the both of you.
leftie 0
dump her
N0Luck 0
have her sit on a chair, then you push her over