Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe she's a surrogate mother and forgot to tell you?
theshewolf 0
Ultrasounds can be used for things other than pregnancy.
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Comments (151)
DeeJayD 0
My god, you're all stupid. It's called A JOKE. Get a ******* sense of humour people, seriously.
meepmeep_fml 0
lololol BURN
meepmeep_fml 0
lololol BURN
winknudge 0
im preeeeeeetty sure she was joking, gosh - not an fmylife. people joke all the time, alright? and you can have ultrasounds for things other than just pregnancies, fyi!
tipple 0
If this is her way of telling you she is pregnant with someone else's child then that's a tough break. But there are other possibilities. Maybe she's been having a few "plumbing" problems, and the docs have arranged an ultrasound to see what is going on - with the possible diagnosis that she might be pregnant or have had a miscarriage - and she was trying to tell you that *if* the ultrasound shows she is (or was) pregnant that it wasn't yours? Did you try talking any more to find out, or did you just run straight to your room to feel sorry for yourself? If on the other hand, the ultrasound is for something other than pregnancy, which is quite likely, then perhaps she was just trying to tell you: "it's not for a baby", and just used an unfortunate choice of words. Or perhaps she was trying to be funny; or was confused by your confused look - if the ultrasound was not for pregnancy, then it may never have occurred to her that someone else would jump to that conclusion. If the ultrasound is for something else, and you have jumped to the wrong conclusion and not talked to her about it more, and are now sulking, posting to FML, and giving her a hard time, then perhaps she should be dumping you for being such an precious and untrusting git.
DeeJayD 0
My god, it's called A JOKE. Get a sense of humour people, seriously.
KoD_Troublesome 0
If she cheated on you and got knocked up cause of it; FALCON PUNCH her.
interestingO_O 0
#49 Thank you for you input, but you need not pull the male version of a Lorena Bobbit in the situation. #51 I'm pretty sure she'd be a ***** either way..... O.o Dude, time for a new girlfriend. Either this one is a bitch or she has a horrible sense of humor. Run.
realbigballs 0
tell her you have aids.
Jabulls 0
#4 & 5 he said is girlfriend said 'don't worry it's not yours.' Doesn't that mean that in fact she had an ultrasound for that reason? Your dumb. and dude...... you, FAIL! Look better or somethin.