Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe she's a surrogate mother and forgot to tell you?
theshewolf 0
Ultrasounds can be used for things other than pregnancy.
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Comments (151)
MGW501 2
The local "bike" is she?
DankJemo 0
In this case wouldn't it be better if it was yours?
so_me_fml 0
Thank you, #75, for having the sense to see the truth! Everyone else posting here is WHOOOAA crazy...
dnm 0
I don't believe the vast majority of these fmylifes -- I just see them as a fun thing to read. But I occasionally feel the need to comment anyway. If this is true, and she is pregnant, and it isn't yours, RUN THE **** AWAY. I'm serious. If you hang around, then in most jurisdictions around the world these days, regardless of biology, you become the kid's primary caregiver, and should she leave you, she can take YOU for child support EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT YOUR KID. As long as you provided the kid's primary care when it was born. So if she is pregnant, and it isn't yours, get out of there. Now.
Art_Vandeley 0
classy gal
Gringo_fml 0
Slag
fALLyl 0
Keep trying, the next one might be! :P
Ekkelg 0
DUDE! DUMP HER IN A BLINK OF AN EYE. Then she is going to say that it really is yours. She might pin that baby! LEAVE!
walkemskies 0
lets hope its a joke
m4hornets 0
"Don't worry, it's not yours" -- HER "Deuces, bitch!" -- YOU