Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she cheated on me with my best friend. The best part is that I couldn't tell her a thing, because I actually cheated on her with the same friend before. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend’s other girlfriend is pregnant. He doesn’t know that I know. A few days ago he told me that he couldn't have a baby with anyone. She has to be the right one, I guess I wasn’t. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
You can’t possibly expect sympathy when you confessed both to cheating and being a ******* idiot.
copalolita 16
LOL this made me laugh so hard. You’re a few fries short of a happy meal. Why would you worry about your ex being pregnant when supposedly you had nothing to do with it? Oh, that’s right because you’re a CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER. YDI
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Comments (7)
poopface82 25
You can’t possibly expect sympathy when you confessed both to cheating and being a ******* idiot.
copalolita 16
LOL this made me laugh so hard. You’re a few fries short of a happy meal. Why would you worry about your ex being pregnant when supposedly you had nothing to do with it? Oh, that’s right because you’re a CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER. YDI
GoogieWithers 25
The baby couldn't be yours because you didn't cheat,right? Right?
Hangryko 32
Enemy of women.
juggalo2 22
At least your horrible genes will die with you.
juggalo2 22
Thank you for sharing your humiliation and shittiness with the internet. Truly the FML spirit.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Hey babe, I need to tell you Sandy is pregnant. But don't worry, I guarantee it's not mine. Shit..." It's a shame God isn't real, because we need someone to smite people like you.