Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe she's a surrogate mother and forgot to tell you?
theshewolf 0
Ultrasounds can be used for things other than pregnancy.
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Comments (151)
duchesse427 0
lmfao, at least that'll save a trip to Maury
bubs_AKA_vermin 0
break up with that bitch for cheating on you.
wgbk12 0
when she said "dont worry its not yours" doesnt that kinda mean its a pregnancy tho? and ya dump her
FML_x2 0
Wow #124.. Anyway, at least that's one kid you won't have to pay for. Just look at it this way, the dude who got in her pants is now repeating the words FML to himself over and over, and over again. A 15 second ******, and eighteen years of cash out of his pocket. Priceless.
izangela 0
#9 HARSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. although, she did imply that she was pregnant since she said "its not yours", which means it is someones child.
Iwuvsu0_o 0
#22 you scare me
cmac86 24
to those who are saying tat it's not a pregnancy: she says "don't worry, it's not yours." that proves it's a pregnancy dumbasses! btw dump her. obviously she's a **** who doesn't care about you if she's willing to go get pregnant and not tell you.
SookMauNoots 0
haha what a dumb bitch
Hockeylover87_71 0
that sucks, but I've heard this one before
vi3tv0tinh 0
lmao I would be happy if my gf was preg and it wasn't mine