Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML
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Top comments
ArielTheMermaid 17
Cats are assholes
perdix 31
Clever cat, maybe tomorrow she'll learn to use knives and, . . ., dunh, dunh, dunh!
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Comments (98)
ArielTheMermaid 17
Cats are assholes
TheRealBruce 12
That's not all bad; you try living without one.
teareb 9
I do live without one and it's great. Woof
not_a_robot 15
I've got both cats and dogs. They both have their ups and down.
retyi43 14
i love cats, but i could definitely live without them
ArielTheMermaid 17
I've seen enough of the Internet to know that as fun as they can be, they can also be a handful. But I actually do like cats :)
Hiawassee 9
I thought this was weird ... As we cna all see, your name is " ArielTheMermaid" & you said " cat's are assholes " I have a cat named Ariel, after the mermaid, who isn't very fond of most people ... ;) Lmfao
ShyAnn29 15
69, maybe 53 is your cat, have you taught her how to use the computer? Lol
emala1096 17
cats are secretly planning to take over the world and make humans their slaves.
whY402Jay 12
Clever pussy.
uhmaizing 3
third
perdix 31
Clever cat, maybe tomorrow she'll learn to use knives and, . . ., dunh, dunh, dunh!
TheRealBruce 12
ohhh nooo
retyi43 14
what a troll
loserman67 36
Hide behind the door and scare the shit out of her the next time she does that or better yet, kick the shit out of her. I agree with ArielTheMermaid, cats are assholes.
theawkwardlife 21
Then grab her by the tail and throw her out the window. That'll teach her not to open your door. (y)
Jemm_fml 29
Animal abusers are too.
theawkwardlife 21
I guess my sarcasm wasn't clear enough. My apologies. I don't actually want to trow a cat out of a window...
calipilot227 16
If you would seriously consider doing this, you need help.
JoeCookieRaider 5
How would you like it if someone hid behind your door and started kicking the shit out of you?
LO388 7
Just wait until she starts with the flaming bags of poop.
Matt_greener 8
Mines at the stage of pissing on my bed.
NoBuenoLeno 9
That's pretty cool. The cats in my neighborhood are freaking scary looking heroin addicts and hide in alleys in their spare time.
purplexpinapple 11
Stoned cats that play knock-down-ginger? Cool.
chanellgymnast 17
Meow that's an awesome cat!