Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
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Top comments
UH60 26
Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?
Steve95401 49
Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.
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Comments (234)
hayleyblack2u71 21
Well, looks like you're ******.
GreekYogurt 26
That's a bummer!
JKPwnage 27
Did your girlfriend happen to try to get that ***** from a toy store?
beeferjay 34
you ice cold
Michael903 18
Funny how accidental anal a few posts back had everyone talking about no means no and rape. why is no one saying that now?
drunkturtle 14
Because it seems when a girl is sexual harassing a guy no one gives a shit, but the other way around everyone loses their shit
DoomedGemini 38
There are actually comments saying that and many saying run the large difference I see here is in the other it already HAPPENED. Both of them need to break up with their partners Id they don't understand consent, no matter what if you partner says no and you continue to do it;not getting into bdsm they have safe words), if you don't stop or listen I would definitely consider it tape or sexual assault.
wheelchairchick 11
Because people don't see it as rape when it's done to a guy. A few of us have called it rape. Most fools are just making jokes.
9a_1z 12
How about the jokes in FMLs where a girl has done something objectionable during sex saying the guy should stick it up her butt? You can take people to task for not taking rape seriously without comparing it to the other gender, then it's about those who really need your help -actual victims.
dakotaabriannee 14
Uhh ouch..
wheelchairchick 11
she does it when you go to sleep have her arrested.
Phoenix_fml 13
Run, bro
Brandon1000 10
Sounds like a pain in the ass.
Selene1090 26
I'm appalled that people are joking about this. If she does anything, that's rape and that is not okay.
AlysoninAlaska 19
Exactly what I was thinking! If this was a woman saying she was worried her boyfriend was going to do something sexual to her while she was sleeping, there would be an uproar. This isn't funny, it's rape culture.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Go look at the FML from a few days ago about the guy "accidentally" shoving it into the girl's butt. Look at how many jokes there are versus the people just pointing out that it's rape. Notice how about half of them are "Oh don't take it so hard OP, it's just Anal" and "That sounds like a shitty situation" type comments? Now the next time you want to say something like "If this was a woman saying she was worried her boyfriend was going to do something sexual to her while she was sleeping, there would be an uproar. " don't, because it's completely false, utter bullshit. The uproar is the same either way it just depends on your feelings on the subject as to whether you notice the jokes or the supportive comments more.
catherinecas 30
I think most have made jokes but added that in reality this a seriously appalling situation if it isn't something normally joked about.
Sxylilhalfpint 20
is she.... perhaps getting payback for something? like you did it to her and now she wants you to see how it feels?
wheelchairchick 11
I really want to know if you would say that if it was her posting this?
Sxylilhalfpint 20
yes I would. lol. 1 good turn deserves another. And hunny it's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard. :)
just_killin_time 14
....except it is literally a (rubber) dick in this case. And where are you getting the part where he did something wrong from?
Sxylilhalfpint 20
never said he did anything wrong. I asked if he had perhaps done something of that sort or maybe he kept bugging her to do anal. Notice the question mark? That means I was asking.