Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
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Top comments
theycallmejadeee 8
I'd be more worried about the "black dog" following you.
grafeety 9
That is siriusly grim.
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Comments (196)
Srs_business 7
Well, I think you're dating the kid from the sixth sense.
Acik91 26
My thought exactly.
Trisha_aus 15
Haley Joel Osment is not the only one who sees dead people.
KiddNYC1O 22
YES HE IS.
theycallmejadeee 8
I'd be more worried about the "black dog" following you.
rattusrattus 19
I wouldn't. They're protection spirits. People used to think the first being buried in a churchyard would have to guard the place forever, so to spare a human that fate and let them go to heaven, they would bury a dog.
kickass1stbase 7
I was thinking more like Sirius Black
kut17 11
It's the grim!
Pleonasm 36
He shouldn't speak about her next door neighbour like that.
PunkySpunky78 15
It seems you don't know about hell hounds or devil dogs
invisibleman8472 17
That's bad, it means it's a hell hound
theycallmejadeee 8
That would still kinda freak me out if I had a spirit following me. I believe in protection spirits and guardian angels but I'd rather not know a large black dog was following me around...
graffitied_love 20
The black dog is Sirius Black :)
mowmowlife 21
Hey, maybe it'll turn into your god father and give you stuff.
xNephilim 19
I'm pretty sure a hell hound or devil dog would've attacked OP by now, but considering OP is still alive to tell the tale, I think it's just a case of the loonies or a protection spirit.
klrindal 2
You guys are morons if there was really ghosts and spirits they would be everywhere so many people and animals have died in the past why are only a few of them ghosts and spirits? Idk how people believe this stuff.
starsierra 15
Yasss!!!!!!!!!!!
breaking6883 17
Omg I agree! Why do people think the black dog is a good thing? Black dog apparitions represent the devil!
iDarkPrince 0
Because when some entities die they go to heaven and some don't you dipshit
hayyad 7
Black dogs are not protection spirits, black dogs are a bad sign actually.
Demonfish 14
Naww, isn't that sweet, you have your own spirit dog :) I kind of envy you there.
AKGirlinSD 20
It is sweet, indeed. What if the guy isn't actually that crazy and really can see apparitions? Hell, there's a ton of shows on tv, daily, about people who track down apparitions, all over the world. I'm just saying, the guy doesn't sound crazy unless he said this after taking some sort of illegal drug possibly mixed with alcohol.
AKGirlinSD 20
I meant that it was sweet that the guy spoke up about what he saw and told his now ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, aka the OP. No one can force the OP the believe in these apparitions.
charliemay 1
You need to look up the meaning of the black dog. If I remember correctly its supposed to have a meaning about death. I think he's messing with your head.
ArielTheMermaid 17
I wish Sirius Black would follow me around.....
crw1017 6
If I'm not mistaken, wouldn't this be a hellhound? Supposedly, if it shows itself to you so many times, you'll die. Though if its following someone around, then it's just protecting them.
nismo_r2 5
Maybe It's true...
Lightcrusade 9
LSD is a hell of a drug
onlychildFTW 34
So is shrooms. But after 4 hours I'm sure it won't be a hard break up...
gabrayal 10
So much for the 'seemingly normal guy'.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
That's the point of this FML...
boofgall 16
20- I find your critic on his comment unnecessary.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
25 - I find your critic, on finding my critic on his comment, on my comment unnecessary.
gabrayal 10
36. Slap yourself... Please!
gc327072 31
35- I do believe that the "xibit/yo dawg" meme applies to that comment.
just2awkward 8
Isn't a big black dog like the symbol of depression or something.....
R4inb0wBrit3 13
Uh...not to be morbid here, but a black dog symbolizes death.
AKGirlinSD 20
You're speaking the truth, which doesn't make you sounding morbid. But I wanted to state a similar comment that it usually symbolizes death. You just had more courage to do so than I.
nochopstix 10
Yes, depression is also referred to as a black dog... There's actually a book titled 'My Black Dog' or something, it helps explain depression a little.
apan 13
THE GRIMM
Tuffay 14
No, it symbolizes a dark colored canine...
hannaaaahr 33
'it looks kinda like a cross, which stands for suffering, and that could be a sun, so you're going to suffer, but you're happy about it!'
grafeety 9
That is siriusly grim.
MisterDoctor 12
Almost as grim as a man locked away in a prison for a false sentence.
grafeety 9
Interesting. What if John Coffey (The Green Mile) was also an animagus? He turns into Mr. Jingles!
leadwithlove 1
Haha! Am I the only one that got that?
drewkaimana 0
No I did haha! 9 gets a win
nanxi 30
Now that's just Black humor.
YourBuddyElmo 5
A dark mark on satire's record for sure.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
:') Harry Potter references
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Omen really OP, zomb(ie)-people are so strange! This guy really demon-strates how suspicious they can be :L
Michie1228 5
I got a bf with the 6th sense. I love him for who he is. If you can't except him for who he is, then, leave him. Jeez.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
I don't think you understand. It creeps out the OP. She doesn't have to even accept him, its only been four hours. Jeez.
doodlecloud 27
Same. :) Still not sure what I personally believe about it all but his stories pretty convincing...some stuff you can't make up. And it's interesting how people around the world and throughout history have seen the same things with no connection. Maybe it's just how the human brain works, maybe something more. I imagine our comments will get thumbed down to hell either way though...people who haven't personally experienced this kind of stuff are not very tolerant...I don't particularly blame them though, I would have laughed a few years back too.
boofgall 16
10- it's 'accept', unless you truly mean 'except', in which your sentence makes no sense/sounds hypocritical.
doodlecloud 27
4 - I don't think you understand. She's saying that if you can't deal with it then don't go out with him but then using her personal example to illustrate that OP may not want to immediately assume that he's crazy and start being creeped out because, in her opinion, some people have that kind of ability and it doesn't stop them being good boyfriends. Jeez.
oceanrain 4
Accept*
UnidentifiedFun 37
The stupid - it burns!
AwkwardHaole808 16
Stick with him. Soon he will have his own TV show and be making some serious dough.