Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she hates my feet and it’s a real turn off. It’s got to the point where if she sees my feet in bed she won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I hate wearing socks in bed, so not sure how we can resolve this. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
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Top comments
Econforthwin 15
Well that is disgusting whether you hate feet or not.
dubb420 15
defeeted the whole purpose.
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Comments (141)
pineapples24 11
I have a deep hatred of get as well so I totally see where you're coming from
Echosnow 15
I hate feet too! Time to get rid of her!!
sousaphonist 14
twist: she has a foot fetish
fifil_fml 18
Why can she not tie her own shoes? I really don't like feet either although can't think of many people that do!
marcranger 29
There are actually whole...websites...made for people who like feet a little too much (shudder ).
Nish007 15
3 weird things in this story: 1, she asking you to tie her shoes. 2, your deep hatred of feet. 3, her giving you the foot in mouth treatment. 3 is damn funny doe XD
JazNim17 18
I know two different guys who can't stand feet. It's not that unusual.
CaroAurelia 12
1. EWWWWWWWWWW!!!! 2. I don't blame you. Feet weird me out, too. 3. How did tying your girlfriend's shoes even come up in conversation? 4. If anybody ever did this to me, that would be the last time they had feet.
DannaDoll 1
I hope you bit her toes!
marcranger 29
I have whatever the opposite of a foot fetish is myself, OP. Reading this made me dry-heave. Your girlfriend sounds petty and disrespectful of others. I'm not going to say "dump her," but if I were you, I'd seriously consider it.
ezrajab 22
Well she is a keeper
Saraj07 18
Even if you were someone who had a foot fetish, putting your feet in someone's mouth when they're sleeping is ******* weird. And a bit childish on her part. Like what the hell? o.O