Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she hates my feet and it’s a real turn off. It’s got to the point where if she sees my feet in bed she won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I hate wearing socks in bed, so not sure how we can resolve this. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
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Top comments
Econforthwin 15
Well that is disgusting whether you hate feet or not.
dubb420 15
defeeted the whole purpose.
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Comments (141)
ToxicTyrael 26
Why would you tie her shoes anyway? Is she such a princess? Training for future children? Is she physically not able to? Is this normal in your city/state? But despite my curiosity: That's gross and why would she do that to you? Just because you don't tie her shoes or because of your hatred for shoes or because she's a dick? Either way she is a dick!
TRexYouUp 8
I'm with you on the hatred of feet and that's really upsetting.
SwagBasket 10
I totally understand where OP comes from because I think feet are completely disgusting and hate them too. If you read this OP break up with her right now.
ModernZelda 19
She sounds like a brat if she expects you to tie her shoes for her. Who does that?
MyS3lf 24
First off, why the hell can't she tie her own shoes? Why is that a big deal? And second, who the EFF does that?! Why on earth would you put your feet in someones mouth, regardless of how they feel about feet? She sounds messed up dude, run.
ASadisticPanda 4
OP, thats when you know you should bite down. HARD.
Roopiitdmech 1
If I were you I would have told my girlfriend how much do I hate her boobs the very next day.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
'Ex'
cartedor 18
wahahaha too funny
greengreengreen 13
my boyfriend has a foot fetish