Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML
Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML
Today, our company hit our sales goals, an all-time high since before the pandemic. Our reward after working so hard all year long? A goodie bag with a keychain with the company logo on them. When I suggested a bonus, my boss said, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, my mom decided to surprise me by bringing homemade dinner over. I've been living off of ham sandwiches for over a week because I've been too busy and tired from work to cook. Of all the things she could have made, what did she make? Ham sandwiches. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
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Top comments
iSativa 24
Donate it to a homeless shelter. It may not have been a good gift for you but a whole ham will be the world to someone who doesn't have much
1nertia 15
You're from Western Australia, I'm from New South Wales. I'm happy to take the ham, and it'll take about a weekend to drive here. So you can have an all expenses paid (by you) trip to deliver my ham!
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Comments (79)
mine___turtles10 13
I'm personally not a vegetarian but I still feel your pain
adrian1910 15
That pig didn't die for nothing, I suggest you eat it.
Mystery_Unsolved 16
Or sell it.
Shmatterhorn 38
I'd recommend giving it to a local food bank so that a less-fortune family can have a Christmas dinner.
iSativa 24
Donate it to a homeless shelter. It may not have been a good gift for you but a whole ham will be the world to someone who doesn't have much
kayteakay 26
I agree! See it as an opportunity to help someone. And great job with all the hard work OP!
JennAlien 12
that's a sweet idea! I really hope OP follows your advice
NebulaNick 12
Awesome idea. We need more people who think like this. I donate my month of December to the kids at the foster home since they don't get a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. Good to know I'm not!
DrMario_ 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'd put in a complaint. I know it's free but in comparison to last year's prize, yours is barbaric. Sorry for their incompetence, OP.
brand125 17
that would just make them look ****** greedy...
YourProblemsSuck 2
A paid vacation isnt a right. They dont have to give you a gift af all.
iop330 22
That's a real pig of a gift.
cryssycakesx3 23
bah-ham-bug
giantsfan2010 23
If you don't want it then I'll take it, OP.
stupidface15 16
The ham is actually a great gift because they are encouraging you to break free from you mortal body, into a ham body
1nertia 15
You're from Western Australia, I'm from New South Wales. I'm happy to take the ham, and it'll take about a weekend to drive here. So you can have an all expenses paid (by you) trip to deliver my ham!
False_Stupidity 42
I like the way you think. I'm from NSW too, split the ham?
Kittyphysics 21
Lmao! great idea!
feven 32
Hey mind sending me some too? I mean we live on the same planet so this is kind of perfect
FBellesLife 15
I'm just across the boarder from you! Victoria?
princesspeachxox 18
Well I'm in wa so I feel it easiest just to give it to me ;)
1nertia 15
Possibility of free stuff and all the Aussies show up...
NicH1799 20
Give it to a soup kitchen or something. Pretend you're a good person, it'll be nice.
underthesea12 24
ham is delicious
hamrtym 15
When life gives you a ham you make bacon, whether you like it or not.