Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
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Top comments
Iamthebanzai22 21
Looks like you are our last line of defense against another dumb baby (because genetics) so please keep up the safe sex. Remember: we are counting on you.
Justin Hornsby 2
I remember this exact post from 2 years ago... It is Verbatim....
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Comments (14)
Chen Zhibang 8
She's apparently taking no chances.
mekiswrite 21
If that were true, they wouldn't be having sex at all.
Justin Hornsby 2
I remember this exact post from 2 years ago... It is Verbatim....
Bevis Butthead 4
Sounds like they're dumb enough to do the same thing again.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Looks like you are our last line of defense against another dumb baby (because genetics) so please keep up the safe sex. Remember: we are counting on you.
Hangryko 32
I've definitely read this before.
Phr0zen 11
I think they are recycling fml's
Nhayaa 21
Reminds me of this chinese couple a few years ago trying to have a baby for years until their doctor finally understands they were having anal sex exclusively...
sel3578898553255 7
4.she must be blonde
DoctorPALO 14
If she's that freaking stupid, YDI.
Laureen Takeshita_1375230115 5
I think you need a smarter gf.....
Taurus_ChicKa 37
4. You're dating a moron that doesn't seem mature enough to be having sex.