Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she hates my feet and it’s a real turn off. It’s got to the point where if she sees my feet in bed she won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I hate wearing socks in bed, so not sure how we can resolve this. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
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Top comments
Econforthwin 15
Well that is disgusting whether you hate feet or not.
dubb420 15
defeeted the whole purpose.
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Comments (141)
ShenaniganNinja 20
When you do things for each other that are nice, that's budding romance. When you do things to each other just to gross each other out and laugh about it, that's real love. Get her back OP, and have fun with it. :)
ChibiChibi_fml 28
"When you do things to each other just to gross each other out and laugh about it" Within reason. This is not one of those cases. It's not like she just put his feet up near his head to tease him. The way someone who's not afraid of spiders may jokingly move towards a friend/relative who is while they are holding one. They don't actually intend to put the spider on the person but only pretending they might. She shoved her feet in his mouth which 1) is rude even if he was ok with feet. 2) Is disgusting. Even if she scrubbed her feet down before going to do it she still likely had to walk across a floor with it's dust and and daily usage grime and 3) Could easily have set off an extreme panic attack if his hatred of feet was actually a phobia.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
You were combining one proven immature action with another action to further prove her immaturity. I was simply pointing out that occasionally needing help tying your shoes is not really evidence against someone. You can "question" her age based on her shoving her feet his mouth but not because she might have asked him to tie her shoes a couple of times. It doesn't say she's always asking him to, just that she asked why he never does when she asks. She could have only asked three times in two years for all we know.
video_game_pics 2
Break up time!!!!!
Danise_123 9
return the favor and put something in her mouth :x
Parvati48 15
Well here is a good reason, her lazy ass can do it herself! That was horrible for her to do OP and I'm very sorry she did that. I hate feet as well, they're nasty. >:(
trepatukas 16
Wait, your girlfriend needs to have her shoes tied? Criminal activity alert.
DUBSTEPMON 13
I think the reason I chose FML is because you dated a girl who doesn't know how to tie her shoes
morreskaylee 9
That's so funny she totally burned you hahaha lighten up its a jokeee
jademitch 20
Would have been gross for anybody. But of a wierd night going on there?
wtfLoki 24
oh the irony. ....shouldn't have told her man