Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she hates my feet and it’s a real turn off. It’s got to the point where if she sees my feet in bed she won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I hate wearing socks in bed, so not sure how we can resolve this. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Econforthwin 15
Well that is disgusting whether you hate feet or not.
dubb420 15
defeeted the whole purpose.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
seemo82 19
maybe that was a message u a**holes... feet is something u have to put in mind while having sex
feven 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well people from Massachusetts tend to be weird.
awesomeamandas 37
People from planet earth tend to be weird.
YepThatsMeee 23
I think you'll find that people from other planets are MUCH more weird.
fucker299 6
Wow
Armygirl93 10
That is straight up nasty
fantasyworld 39
Can't she tie her own shoes?
RobinGoodfellow 47
Have you considered dumping her.
MichaelDeSanta 20
Next time she goes to sleep put your dick in her mouth.
Enslaved 38
Good idea until she bites him there! O.o
YepThatsMeee 23
Well I hope for OP's sake that his gf doesn't have a deep hatred of dicks.
MichaelDeSanta 20
If she had a deep hatred of dicks she probably would have a girlfriend, not a boyfriend.
surranger 19
when she falls asleep just put ur penis in her mouth? idk
imapartypooper 15
If I am not mistaken, I believe that is called rape.
Wolfparable 22
That's pretty damn gross in my opinion. Rude of her either way.
WOTAN1488 24
Wow that sucks...feet lol.
clairesucks 37
No, just no. That's not even funny!