Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, months after a severe poison ivy rash, I have learned that I now have a very intense poison ivy allergy. As in, any exposure to poison ivy at all will cause my face, hands, thighs, and groin to swell up and itch madly for up to a week. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML
Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML
Today, I had a heat rash on my crotch. I asked my mom for cortisone cream. While I was putting it on, it suddenly started burning. It turns out she gave me arthritis cream. FML
Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
Nature's std. Thankfully it's curable.
tonyfan00 38
Which bush? George, George, or Jeb?
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And one of them was yours.
RichardPencil 32
Why are you thumbing down the only comment, you cowards? If you think you have something better to say, say it! This post went for a long time with no comments whatsoever. That’s a shame. Surely, the OP expects some reaction from the audience whether it’s sympathy or barbs.
almost_there44 26
You must be the person who gets validation based on likes and in this case a thumps up. Multiple people don't like your comments and you just get angry. It's the ******* internet, relax. You post on every FML and it's rarely something life changing or clever.
Thor1012 28
Well I thumbed down because we can always expect you on with some pervy comment
jfsiv 17
Is your boyfriend Batman?
Lobby_Bee 18
Nature's std. Thankfully it's curable.
Glowworm56 27
Well that was very rash of you guys to not check the vegetation before having sex in it.
tonyfan00 38
Which bush? George, George, or Jeb?
davecross 11
Couldn't you 2 just had sex in a bed or in on a blanket under the stars where are no bushes around.