Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave, "He's out of my league; you're not." FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out, I asked him about it. He replied, "Don't worry, she's perfect and is way too good for me." FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML
Today, I saw a message on my boyfriend's phone from one of his friends, saying I was a downgrade from his ex. FML
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Top comments
bonermonkey 31
cheating asshole...
emeraldisle 30
And now he's your ex-boyfriend.
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Comments (80)
bonermonkey 31
cheating asshole...
Recon13x 9
Put your foot knee-deep up his ass.
MrSassypants 34
#14 That guy is just an ass she can probably stick her foot knee deep in his mouth and it would qualify as knee deep in his asshole.
Recon13x 9
#38 ooo that was witty I like that
emeraldisle 30
And now he's your ex-boyfriend.
jerryj 27
Or so we hope.
gogo44444 28
And now he gets mono
earljonez 22
Your "boyfriend" is an asshole. You dodged a bullet O.P. consider yourself lucky.
stingray112 24
I've never understood why people ALWAYS say that I mean if they had been dating for two days or something then yeah at least it wasn't a long time in but some of these fmls people have been together for years and there's always multiple people saying "consider yourself lucky" or "be thankful it's now" like bitch there's very little good in that situation at all if your gf just made out with s guy in front of you the first thing you would want to hear probably wouldn't be "consider yourself lucky" this isn't directed at you specifically #3 your comment just reminded me of it.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Ahhhhh shadaaaaaaaap!
e_is_for_eli 12
I think they mean consider yourself lucky that you didn't get more invested with this person or even marry them. instead, they found out that they're the cheating type and don't have to go through legal matters such as divorce.
earlytermination 34
She's lucky she didn't have children with him. As horrible and painful as it is, it's better to find out now than waste another minute of her life with someone like that. And I realize that's always easier said then done. Sorry OP, I feel for you.
coolbeansbruh 13
#72 *than
pixierara 28
That's when you severely mutilate his body so he can't have anything he wants in life
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
yas
NthDakotaBeaches 12
Maybe just a slight overreaction
shay_serendipity 29
Hm... I see no overreaction with this plan at all. OP, continue full speed ahead. You deserve so much better
Jashie 18
He still doesn't deserve severe mutilation. COME ON PEOPLE, THIS IS 2015 NOT THE MIDDLE AGES WITH ALL ITS UNUSUAL PUNISHMENTS
Emma1562 35
Well at least you don't have to deal with that dipshit anymore.
SoulEaterSE 23
I think you mean ex boyfriend
Soparot 29
I guess I missed the part where op said she dumped him?
lil_ham1644 29
apparently so did you, because it doesn't say she dumped him. however, I think it's safe to assume she did.
gogo44444 28
@6, @58, @66, you guys are all stupid
coolbeansbruh 13
#73 says the person who's profile pic is hair?
gogo44444 28
#75 Says the person that has some weird anime satanic shit as your profile picture, I'm allowed to put whatever I want as my profile picture
hugtrees13 16
This happens so often now it's not even a surprise, Awh well move on
WretchedOnyx 29
Doesn't make it any less pleasant.
WretchedOnyx 29
My brain farted and I ran out of time to edit my comment. I meant to say it doesn't make it any less terrible. *
PandaSmile 24
Christ that sounds like a rehearsed line for a pity hook up. Ditch the loser
SunnySideUpp 9
Fishing for kisses
AbtractAngela 17
Now your the ex that's out of his league! :)
jesterinperil 28
Normally, I don't hop on the assumption train and say "DUMP HIM!" right away, but, I do hope you cut him out of your life rather quickly.