Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML
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Top comments
mofran 0
shit on her doorstep. don't worry bro, **** that bitch & move on.
wisese 0
Your girlfriend is an immature child. Even if you were a horrible boyfriend, she has proven to be a rather low creature because she couldn't simply leave you; she evidently thought it was appropriate to attack you. Class act. Be glad she's gone op.
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Comments (149)
mintcar 10
Bacteria are ubiquitous. Get over it. Gotta say though, that was a bitch move.
jayejayejaye122 3
What a bitch, how did u go out with her?
Ariana2_fml 2
What a bitchh
ilovefall10 21
Your girlfriend sounds like a straight up immature bitch. You're better off without her.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
i think the real issue her is that ur a germaphobe. thing is, you gotta expose urself to germs otherwise u are more prone too gettin sick. you wont build up resistance to germs if u contantly wash ur hands. just a thought, op. (sorry for the science lesson, lol)
Cazzybum 11
I was going to say this. It's a dick move for her to do something she knows will distress you so, but you need to man up and realise that a bit of dirt won't hurt. You have an immune system.
KailyKii 11
24- For someone who is apparently brilliant at science
KailyKii 11
Gah, stupid phone. My comment should have been - @24 For someone who is apparently brilliant at science you have rather poor grammar.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
yes, coz science and grammar are basically interchangeable, right? your comment is completely irrelevant and comes across as really petty.
YayFlameWarz 9
Oh god your sentence structure is awful! MAKE IT STOP!
Cynical_in_SK 6
No justareader, science and grammar might not be "interchangeable", but good grammar does tend to be expected from those who CLAIM to be intelligent and educated. In other words...it's pretty hard to believe you have a bachelor's degree in anything when you can't even spell or form a proper sentence. As for your "science" lesson...well...it sounds awesome IN THEORY. In reality though…I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with it.
michellelynnae 0
That's a bitter thing to do. Take revenge. It's real sweet.
FYLDeep 26
I washed my hands all the time back when I worked at McDonald's. Plus we were basically wearing gloves all the time. Your comment might be more reflective of some ghetto-ass restaurant than the fast-food industry as a whole. Honesty, if you need a reason not to eat fast food, then I'd go with the fact that it's probably some of the worst food you can consume. It's designed to be high in fat, salt, and sugar, the three things that appeal to people's tastes the most.
Poetaster 10
I'm thinking your much better off without the dirty wench. Besides, you probably needed some cleaner cleaning supplies anyway.
Glockinator 2
**** her dude! Heads would roll. Just try to spin it to a positive which is you can get new cleaning products that are full so you can kill even more germs
noncom 12
#33 And also the fact that the heat that the food is cooked would kill the bacteria.