Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
And you're surprised?
RochelleRedvines 8
She asked for it. Literally.
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Comments (144)
lexxiii 17
NEVER call a girl fat. It is the #1 thing they worry about. Calling a girl fat usually leads to eating disorders.
SoylentCandycorn 10
So calling a girl fat once leads to an eating disorder? I think someone may be exaggerating things by say, oh, A LOT.
heyyhowsitgoing 9
I'm surprised you're still alive
Dcm210 19
Wtf she messed up in the first place.
txbelle210 5
Obviously you've never been with a girl...
txbelle210 5
You should've been the bigger person and not insulted her back at all and then just make her feel guilty for being an ass and insulting you. But seriously even if you felt the need to stoop to her level (which you obviously did) bringing up a girl's weight is a way low blow... the only way I can justify your insult is if shetoldyou you had a small penis... that's kind of the equivalent for a chick
HOB0HUNTER 2
Obviously he wasn't being the "bigger person" ifyou catch my drift..
fsomelife 26
One might argue that this is the optimal turn of events.
merrielp 13
retard
Slimma 20
Should not have even let the word "fat" leave your lips in front of her. That was wrong. If anything should have assured her that everything was okay and move on from the rude comment. Eased her guilt and with her feeling better she woulda helped you out. Yeah you definitely deserve it.
Levvy 22
Great idea. Let's all just ask men to treat women with what they think they really want/need instead of what they explicitly ask for. THAT'S never led to any problems before, right?
kclarke 2
You clearly don't know how to speak woman..
SoylentCandycorn 10
All women are passive aggressive drama queens who play ridiculous mind games?
allblacksfan 7
She wanted to make things better so you call her fat? Smart move.
doby199 6
Wow that was dumb