Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So… don't touch you at all?" FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
She deserves it for fishing for compliments.
24788 7
You know you wanted to say that because she's always bitching about her weight. I hate how fit woman say they are fat and need to lose weight. I'm so fat I can't eat one piece of brownie or it will go straight to my thighs... Good, I'm ******* glad then you won't break in half when I bend you over.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
poke_master 0
Lawl, that's terrible.
CSweeney 2
Poor guy :(
plethora 3
Freudian slip! Whoops.
catriona_cd 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
alexandraa_fml 0
She deserves it for fishing for compliments.
idkweird 0
This.
HeresReality 0
she does deserve it for fishing and you deserve it for being outright retarded saying that your girlfriend is fat. dd you really think calling her fat would end well?
HoesInaBox 0
it was obviously an accident. but fyl anyways, compliment fishers derserve to be called fat
loveconverse 0
I agree with # 4
ollie200519 0
Agreed. When a compliment fisher says something bad about themselves you should always agree.
alexxpro 0
it was an accident .
anthaz_fml 0
it was an accident. when someone is talking about something, and you're thinking about something else, you absentmindedly say what they were talking about? yep
funny_girly1 0
70 you're an idiot. It was an accident!
Luckster 0
Grow a pair and explain yourself rather than taking your sitcom-style punishment. If she can't understand it was a slip up, maybe it's a good idea to find a different girl who has a level head on her shoulders.
thatoneguyinca 0
Totally, he's a tool. Men are getting more and more pussified daily, I can't take it!! Just ******* google "leykis 101" and you'll learn the truth.
Maddoctor 10
Yeah, because those 101 "rules" will totally help out in his situation.
tdawgheath 0
Could have easily laughed it off aand said, "my tongue got twisted, babe, I meant to saay 'you're so beautiful'" so I don't see why OP didn't.
myinitialsarecoc 0
Should of added '..With a p-h'
24788 7
You know you wanted to say that because she's always bitching about her weight. I hate how fit woman say they are fat and need to lose weight. I'm so fat I can't eat one piece of brownie or it will go straight to my thighs... Good, I'm ******* glad then you won't break in half when I bend you over.
BangOut 2
win^
LightWater 0
Yup, constantly arguing with a mate who points out some anorexic bird and it's like dude, she'd snap if I tried it. That's not gonna go well!
sweetpea129 0
lmao at 7. "when i bend you over" ahahah
boog_fml 7
I want to Falcon Punch girls like that
whataloadofbull 0
Dude, you've been playing way too much Super Smash lately...
Crasken 0
http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DFFtw7qW7Vcw&ei=_GtYS6KoIJH-M6r79MwE&sa=X&oi=video_result&resnum=12&ct=thumbnail&ved=0CCIQuAIwCw&usg=AFQjCNFKm99anREJUQbKITXyBLGss4RXCA
paramorefan125 0
girls lyk tht gt on my fukken nerves dude. tha only thing more annoying iz wen im eatin normal nd dey r goin anorexic nd dey look @ me nd r lyk "how cn u eat lyk tht in front of guys?" anywys wy off topic. so yeah dude tell her it ws a mistake jeez evry1 fukks up
f_alltheirlives 3
"Silence! King Anoying is about to tell us things that are anoying and lyk gt on hiz nervzes"
skrotty 0
english lessons, take some please... i beg you please
amirbakovic 0
holy mother of shit!! pleaseee teach me to speak like that...........nott where do you learn this terrible language i dubbed: "retarded-14-year-old-gangstaaa-phat-farm-wearing-kid-drinking-bacardi-and-puking-after-1-sip-thinking-your-hardcore!"
Flutist 3
Girls like that get on my ******* nerves dude. That only thing more annoying is when I’m eating [a] normal [meal] and they are going anorexic. They look at me and are like "How can you eat like that in front of guys?" Anyway, way off topic. So yeah, dude, tell her it was a mistake. Jeez everyone ***** up. Above: that is how a normal comment should look. Stop being a spelling troll. Also if you don't have manners then that might be why the girls are asking if you eat like that in front of other people. And a lot of girls i know snack throughout the day and control their intake of calories because it is not kosher for a girl to be large like a male.
screwlife23 0
God forbid a girl isn't kosher. I do believe she was refering to the amount not the way she was eating.
ImmaZebra 0
lyk omg gurls lyk u get on my fukken nerrrves too. Learn how to speak English... Please.
kdog333 1
people lyk u gt on my fcking nerves
pompomkiwi 14
It seems like you would have to try to have this bad of grammer