Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
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Top comments
P1MP1N 0
wow, that really sucks. its not your fault at all, how were you to know that the kid had down syndrome? You were just doing your job. Don't worry about it man
betsymonty 0
You shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the law, and you should definitely tell your boss what happened.
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Comments (243)
betsymonty 0
You shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the law, and you should definitely tell your boss what happened.
rawrlily 0
FatElie 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I know most people aren't going to like this, but **** The Police! All they do is give you tickets, they don't 'protect you' from anything. Even if you call them in an emergency the emergency will be long over by the time they get there. All they care about is filing their quota and making sure you don't get any where on time. Only useful coppers is SWAT.
ahti546 11
**** cops, pieces of shit
ahti546 11
**** cops, pieces of shit
Ch0sen 13
Yeah, **** the people who keep us safe and bravely stand in the face of criminals' bullets while the rest of us run like little bitches. Our lives would be so much better amidst total anarchy.
Razell 13
Point of order - police provide an orderly means of reporting crimes and gathering evidence for trial. Without the police, people would enforce the laws on their own, usually with fatal results to the perpetrators. IOW, the police protect criminals from the wrath of the law-abiding.
meltastic 0
since when can you not ride bikes on sidewalks!?
kpearsall 0
#3, since like forever in California anyway. Many other states as well. The law is there mostly because it's hazardous to pedestrians in large metropolitan areas (read: downtown Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Jose)... It's why we have bike lanes in metropolitan areas. Who wants to get mowed down by a fast bicycle while walking down the sidewalk?
brie3 0
really? i live in Sac, and I ride on the sidewalk half of the time (then again, there's barely even sidewalk here... so I don't think they care...)
elegantlywasted1 3
just because you do it doesn't make it legal :-(
musicchic4ever12 4
ikr!
hypnos_fml 0
man it's such a stupid law, it's far more dangerous to get hit by a car while on a bike than get hit by a bike while walking... I know about the bike lanes, but they aren't everywhere which just makes cycling dangerous... I hate cyclists...
meganannee 0
I agree. I especially hate it when bikes decide they are like cars and bike in the middle of your lane in front of you... it causes alot less damage fr a pedestrian getting run over by a bike than a cyclist getting run over by a car
macs4evr 7
248, bikes are legally allowed to behave like cars, at least in Ohio, and have all the rights associated with vehicles, please don't complain about people expressing their rights, you might get someone killed.
chelsey76 6
No I wouldn't want to get mowed down by a fast bike while walking, BUT I personally think it would be waaaayyy worse to get mowed down by a fast CAR while cycling!!! Who agrees?
GhettoNinja707 0
Yuu are stupid reread the context of @248 post.
twinarmagedon 9
Its the same in washington. As long as you can go the same speed at least.
v8nick97 11
Who wants to get mowed down by a car in the bike lanes? That's why I ride on the sidewalks. The cops here in Chicagoburbia don't care.
Vasir 2
Yeah, thats not a problem..
P1MP1N 0
wow, that really sucks. its not your fault at all, how were you to know that the kid had down syndrome? You were just doing your job. Don't worry about it man
01100110 0
Sorry to hear that. You were doing your job but there are some times where you have to let things go. You didnt' know beforehand so fair enough. This isn't a FML or a YDI, you were doing your job.
Vasir 2
Yeahh this isnt a problem. move along
RavensRule97 0
what kind of rule is no bikes on sidewalks anyway? where else are kids supposed to ride their bikes? isnt it too dangerous on the street?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
if it's too dangerous on the street for them, maybe they should just not ride instead of endangering pedestrians. it's "side WALK"
sportsy 7
Your an ideot
cecilk 29
Kids are supposed to ride their bike in residential areas or other areas with little traffic. Then it is also not dangerous for them to cycle on the street. In areas with more traffic they are not supposed to ride at all without adults. After all they don't really know traffic rules. That was already the rule when I grew up and I grew up in a time when there pretty much were no rules or at least they were not checked upon. Hell, I got drunk the first time when I was 15 because no waitress saw a problem with selling wine and sangria to a girl that looked young enough to use public transport for free for which you had to be below 13.
yaboiipoo 5
said the person who doesn't know how to spell "idiot"
slash1396 0
#2 theres a bike lane for a reason and you should tell your boss. its not your fault for upholding the law as long as its a fair law
I2OI3 0
Now if the pee were to get on you, I would say - hey, there's a good story for my website! Good thing though, cuz that would be gross. And very sad.
Noxious88 0
Oh Dang eh? I guess it's not really your fault. How were you to know?