Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
And you're surprised?
RochelleRedvines 8
She asked for it. Literally.
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Comments (144)
regan_droper 4
its a trap!
antny082787 5
should have honked her boobs (made noises while squeezing her breasts)
drcynic 4
You fell for a classic trap. Never, ever give them the satisfaction of being right. They will hold it over you for years to come. You should've taken the high road and not done it.
Levvy 22
Moral of story in short: Do not expect others to understand what is good for them. Apparently.
Levvy 22
Relationship advice gathered from FML comments, in summary: A man should do what he thinks a woman wants or what he thinks is good for her, not what she asks him to do. A woman apparently can't be expected to speak for herself and needs a man to decide what she ACTUALLY needs. Strategy is more important than your partner's expressed wishes. Gettin' the feeling we don't have a lot of married people here. (Disclaimer against inevitable misinterpretation: This is an aggregation of the views of other commentators expressed above, NOT an explanation of my own.)
BigSexy123 11
Pretty much what I'm gathering too -.-
ritualjman 2
You should of said how pretty she looks
MKProcks 13
She completely tricked you. Assuming it was a truth then you could've lied to her. Remember sometimes lie is better than truth.
DoxIxHAVExTo 10
I don't understand how that was a trick? Like, was she fishing for an insult, but hoping there was none? I say **** her. She's an idiot! FYL, OP.
owood80 4
Is this you're first relationship? That's the oldest trick in the book!
laurencheese 7
I hope she told you that you had a small penis in order for you to call her fat! Never call any girl fat!
HOB0HUNTER 2
How would that even be an insult, anyway?
foxholeathiest 4
It was a test. And you failed