Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
And you're surprised?
RochelleRedvines 8
She asked for it. Literally.
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Comments (144)
bakerella 29
she deserved it. i don't know why so many people are supportive of her getting angry when she asked to be insulted. it's like girls being bitches is socially acceptable now
Karma_Geddon 36
Tell her she needs to take her attitude and apply it to a treadmill. Fat women need to stop trying to redefine beauty one doughnut at a time and accept reality.
cassieandra8291 8
And that, sir, is what is known as a "no-win situation". Or, simply put, "IT'S A TRAP!"
Albarufus 13
Whenever a girl tells you it's okay to insult her, don't insult her.
shopgirl89 6
You lost the opportunity to have the upper hand. Sounds like she wanted you to stoop to her level so she could continue to be mad at you even though she'd done something wrong.
Krazymace 6
Womens Logic my friend.
BadAssBandit897 9
and this is why I hate my gender (girls)
linda_stone 13
Ha-ha! Then she trully is FAT! Because someone who's NOT fat wouldn't react like this. So, by saying she's fat you were just being honest. And honesty is precious!! ;D
FemskyD 26
Haha when a girl says you can insult me back,, you have to tell her theres nothing bad About her And tell her how great she is haha i know,, girls are complicated
Anonymous_1995 2
I'm sorry OP. We women are very complicated creatures, and we can sometimes put you in unfair situations such as this. Here's one thing that will always help you should this happen again: STAY AWAY FROM COMMENTING ON A GIRL'S WEIGHT. IT WILL ONLY END IN DISASTER. (Then again, I would stay away from anything related to her appearance. It's like how when a girl asks "Do I look OK?" The only answer that should come out of your face is "Of course you do, Honey. You always look beautiful." You say this regardless of how she actually looks. The truth is irrelevant. When she asks you to insult her, you say something along the lines of, "I can't. There's nothing about you I can insult. You're too perfect." Or something like that. Once again, the truth doesn't matter. This is one of those situations where the only answer is the one we want to hear.) Oh, and one more thing: don't forget to say it with a smile :)