Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

Peaceful

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

Happy now?

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

Read the room

Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML