Today, as I’m single, I got permission to bring a friend as my plus-one to my sister's wedding. He’s religious so I thought of all people he’d be one to behave. Nope. He got plastered on champagne, slapped the brides ass as she was walking down the aisle with our dad, then started a fight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s step-uncle’s wedding. He got absolutely wasted and kept talking about marrying me in front of his mom and step-dad, but was listing off who he would and wouldn’t invite, all in front of the people he wouldn’t invite. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to my step-sister's wedding. He knew more people there than I did, including 3 bridesmaids he used to sleep with. FML
Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML
Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML
Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of three years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
In the movie “Maltese Falcon” Mr Guttman says to Sam that he doesn’t trust a man who doesn’t drink because once he does he may lose control. I think that applies to your friend… OP, I understand your embarrassment but ultimately unless you took part in the ruckus, your “friend” bears responsibility for his actions. Do not defend the indefensible - it just gets the blame spread to you if you try. I’d also suggest seeing less of that idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Chazzster 32
In the movie “Maltese Falcon” Mr Guttman says to Sam that he doesn’t trust a man who doesn’t drink because once he does he may lose control. I think that applies to your friend… OP, I understand your embarrassment but ultimately unless you took part in the ruckus, your “friend” bears responsibility for his actions. Do not defend the indefensible - it just gets the blame spread to you if you try. I’d also suggest seeing less of that idiot.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Religious people are often the biggest hypocrites and the ones you really have to watch out for.