Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
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Top comments
Mossears133 15
Hoo do you think you are, dropping your daughter like that!?
stevenJB 25
I hate you just because you said "cray"^
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Comments (140)
whostolemylama 12
Hate is such a strong word especially toward a person who looks young, can't we all be friends or is that shit cray?
stevenJB 25
Hate you too^
Celina_Lune 20
I would've broke up with her when she decided to use a stuffed owl as a hypothetical daughter in the first place...
then000bster 16
It's just like us saying lol and omg to our parents. Each new generation has their new lingo. Apparently this new one is just stupid, cray, Yolo, #everythingyolobreakfeastcamel
then000bster 16
Edit* got stuck with the worst lingo ever, as in....
monpetitchevelle 4
That's not unusual at all...have either of you considered seeing someone like a shrink??
Enslaved 38
A wise old owl lived in a great old oak The more he heard the less he spoke The less he spoke the more he heard. That wise old owl was a wise old bird
80skid 15
Be thankful you didn't actually reproduce with that nut job.
possy 19
Bitch is crazy!! Your own fault for not finding this out earlier....
dogpup4 23
What kind of logic is that? She could have been completely normal up until that point.
evilplatypus 39
52 - Wait...so it's less bad to hate people that are older?