Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten-free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a lovely gluten-free pizza out at a local restaurant. After I'd finished, they informed me it wasn't in fact gluten-free. I am Celiac and this means I will be ill for the next six weeks. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I went to a niece's birthday party and was very careful with what food I ate, as I have gluten and garlic sensitivity. I left the party with numb lips, so I guess I have a new sensitivity. FML
Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
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Top comments
anencephalic 14
Well, at least you have pizza now.
annie_nk 23
Ah a whole new wonderful world has opened up for you :)
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Comments (206)
hwkfan1 10
What a bitch....
dressedskeleton 10
Well there must have been a reason for her to be convinced of it, I doubt she was doing it out of spite!
Driveshaft 5
Yeah, what a bitch...you realize you're saying that about a mother who, for all we know, was misinformed and was trying to protect her daughter? Or were you just in a rush to get something posted, so you could be first?
anencephalic 14
Well, at least you have pizza now.
sucessfultroll 18
true to that. my gf is allergic to gluten and I can't imagine myself being like her, at least she was born with it and didn't have to change any diets since she was born.
rahrah765765 11
That pizza is going to be flushed down the toilet within 30mins of eating it. It's going to be hard to stop ******** if op doesn't introduce gluten back into their diet slowly. Good luck and I'll be waiting for your follow up fml story.
siickman 7
Welcome to good world of being a fat ass OP. So glad you can join us. :)
dsbs 9
ALL HAIL PIZZA
cradle6 13
I'm allergic to gluten, but i wasn't diagnosed until much later in life. Doctors were very unaware of it in the 90's. Gluten allergies/sensitivities were more or less unheard of back then. Bizarre that your mom chose that.
mfjkr 10
There's gluten-free pizza you know?
awkward_gothlady 32
Yeah, it is bizarre. You'd think it would be an inconvenience for the mother, too, since it would supposedly affect how she cooked. The other FML where the person was told they were allergic to chocolate when they weren't makes a bit more sense, since the mother wouldn't have to share the chocolate. But telling your kid they have a gluten allergy? What's there to gain from that?
PeachesnCream88 0
Awww well at least your happy now!
MDTeddy 13
Nobody is allergic to pizza unless you can't have cheese. I don't understand that.
klumzy0123456789 6
that's not an fml...that's a My Life is Awesome!
klumzy0123456789 6
131 do u even know what gluten is?? and if you're allergic to cheese when you are lactose intolerant
niallo 23
Gluten is in the bread.
polkadotsocks 11
131. I'm highly allergic to tomatoes, so I cannot have most types of pizza. OP - even though you were allergic to gluten you didn't eat it every once in a while because something looked so amazing you HAD to have it? I sure have!!
tiwalolaori 2
You front understand cause ur retarded.
Haven74 6
143- there is a difference between lactose intolerance and a dairy allergy. My daughter was allergic to dairy until the age of 5 when she (mostly) grew out of it. I say mostly, because occasionally she will still break out, when prior she would have a full body eczema-like rash with any amount of dairy. I even had to switch to non-dairy diet when I was nursing because it affected her skin so much. Lactose intolerance, on the other hand, causes anything from bloating and indigestion to full-on "don't be too far from an open bathroom, because the dairy will not remain inside the body for long". Fortunately there are a few delicious brands of soy milk, almond milk and coconut milk available, and finding more non-dairy, non-caecin(sp?) frozen desserts, cheese substitutes, and yogurts. OP- hopefully after being gluten-free for so long, then introducing it to your system will not cause problems for you. A gluten-filled world is hard to maneuver when you have to be gluten-free (especially for us newly discovered gluten-intolerant/allergic carb-o-holics), at least it is something you've been accustomed to for most of your life. I am wondering the same as many others though - with all the GF products, especially those introduced within the past 10 years, how have you never had pizza? I have two GF pizza dough mixes sitting in my cupboard right now. It's not a new product. Some are spendy, but as an alternative is better than dealing with the pains. Not trying to be snarky, just genuinely wondering.
ncisfan14 0
Your an idiot. Sorry. But you are. Yes you can have a lactose allergy(so it would be the cheese) but if your allergic to weat and gluten than you can't have the crust. I'm allergic to a preservative that is in a lot of foods so I have to make my own tamto sauce for pizza. It's not just the cheese people are allergic to.
OvertonHippie 16
122 - There's gluten-free "pizza" but it's like alcohol-free beer. It's sort of the right color, some of the smells are almost about right, and it tastes like sadness.
Pixiewolfe 46
Yep. It is pooping out gluten that is the problem not the eating of it :c
annie_nk 23
Ah a whole new wonderful world has opened up for you :)
boating_guy 33
OP, you poor soul...20 years of your life wasted now... BUT ISN'T IT GREAT?! Welcome to the club!
gc327072 31
Not bottoms up, toppings up! That was terrible...
skoob1 12
It couldn't have been too bad, you had cocoa pebbles :)
UberNova 18
I'm sure if OP had looked thoroughly around, she could have found gluten-free pizza bases or at the least gluten-free flour to make it herself, im coeliac and have had pizza many times.
AJ_Ba11 0
Touche
killdozer1 2
I didn't know it was possible to survive without pizza... And for twenty years! Sounds like hell was just usurped.
OvertonHippie 16
154 - I was gluten-free for about 2 years because some quack thought I had Celiac instead of Crohn's (found out he was wrong with a 17-day hospital stay). I hate to say it, but they need to come up with a different name for GF pizza... maybe "consolation crust" or some such, because it's like going on a game show, playing for 50 grand, and winning a toaster.
BatemanFML 0
I bet that you enjoyed that slice of pizza more than anyone else that I have ever known. Welcome to the wild world of gluten filled foods. We have been waiting for you
imcarissa 4
I would be so sad if I couldnt eat gluten any more :(
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
But how is it possible that you never had a pizza? Gluten free flour exists, you could have use it as a replacement to wheat flour and make your own pizza. I talk by experience because my brother is severely gluten intolerant. We still cook lots of different things for him. He’s got noodles, bread, cornmeal etc… Besides, I wonder of you felt after eating a pizza after 20 years without ingesting any gluten. Your body is probably not used to it and I would not be surprised if you got sick afterwards. It would be interesting to know.
thatonename 7
IMHO a lot of the gluten free substitutes taste alright, but I have yet to find one that's an exact match. And as we all know, funny tasting pizza just ain't the same....
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
It tastes different, this does not mean it tastes worse :) If you had only known gluten free products in your life, you would probably think that non gluten free products taste weird.
kirbeaar 19
Where I work we make gluten free pizza and it tastes even better than the normal pizza. You've been missing out OP.
sodapop83 14
#6 love your pic. Christian Bale is the sexiest ;D
kbt13 0
Lol
habibiiiiiii 2
Why was she convinced you were allergic to it? Throw the pizza at her face.
kakarot2 11
Why?? When you can eat that sucker up!!
emilyjgraham 34
she was probably one of the mums that do any and everything to protect their children, not necessarily a bad thing but it could be in some cases :)
kiwienne 21
I suggest you order an even bigger pizza and celebrate!
Hershey903 5
It was probably the closest Heaven is ever gonna get to ya while living.
Hershey903 5
It was probably the closest Heaven is ever gonna get to ya while living.
destroyer69 0
I will be there, I will go anywhere for pizza as long as there is meat lovers or sausage
missnezzy 10
All i can say is, pizza needs to be your staple diet for the next week, try em all!
missnezzy 10
Omg its a joke?! Ever heard of one....
nothing92x 13
How have you lived so long with out pizza?
mswim 27
Some just have the strength, I am in awe of people who r allergic to chocolate. So much self control. Well good for u know op, me my mom has put me on a glucose free diet.
xNephilim 19
Eh, it's easy to not eat things you've never tried before, regardless of how good it tastes.
nothing92x 13
127-OP has had pizza before. OP does state that she hasn't had pizza in 20 years, and she is 25. Meaning that her last slice was at age 5. So I do not see the logic in your comment.
Your_Nightmares 10
You poor, deprived lady! What a horrible childhood you must have had without pizza!! I'm kidding, pizzas good but you aren't deprived if you don't have it, now you can appreciate it more since you didn't grow up with it
legal371 5
I expected a comment with random statistics in here somewhere
JustKittyKat 24
But imagine! You now get to try things that you have always wanted! The possibilities are endless! (I'm not saying what your mom did was right, because it wasn't. I'm just saying that you are in for some fun.)