Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Know your worth
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Top comments
Mossears133 15
Hoo do you think you are, dropping your daughter like that!?
stevenJB 25
I hate you just because you said "cray"^
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Comments (140)
lulzcoaster 3
u dont want a crazy like that
Sir_ND_Pity 35
She can no longer get her mail from Hogwarts! YDI, OP!
Welshite 40
I wasn't aware this was the day to completely disregard common English rules. Edit: Original comment was edited. Ignore, please.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
21 - Which rules are you implying I've disregarded?
QQmore_fml 18
Well i'v used the hypothetical phone, represented by the stuffed banana and called child services.
simoncat 11
...or the game warden.
michael666 7
cray cray? just like your uncles chick right?
simoncat 11
Look, I've heard if women "nesting" but come on. An owl? And you dropped the chick by accident, right? What woodsie do in the same circumstance?
pmadNess 16
He wouldn't give a hoot!
Chucklikesbacon 12
This reminds me of this one tv show on german tv. Almost exactly the same thing happened, only that it wasn't an owl, but a baby doll. Just that your situation sucks a lot more, since it's real life. Though I think you might be better off without her, if she already overreacts to something like that.
olpally 33
Poor hedwig! :( you bastard!
stevenJB 25
I hate you just because you said "cray"^
Grauncho 27
And now she dropped you.
sierralem 3
Why would you want to stay with a looney tune anyway? I say you're better off. Imagine if you had actual children with her. I don't even think you want to imagine how crazy she might've gotten.