Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML
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Top comments
Mideoyeo 12
Well, now you know that you obviously deserve better than this ungrateful bitch. Sorry OP, hope you find someone nicer! (:
AsianCookie247 14
Your girlfriend is unappreciative. I personally think that's really sweet and cute. Sorry, OP.
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Comments (201)
jayyceeeee 3
that's cute! nice attempt
Keevarou 17
Looks like you're free as a bird now, and if you love her, try chasing her, if she says no. That means she was not that good for you, gotta have the heart at the right place :) Good luck OP
shayshayshazam 14
Keev- your comments are always so nice and uplifting! They makeme smile.
YtotsDI 0
I agree with 24 :)
Epikouros 32
You were already ****** when your girlfriend asked you if you loved her. Either she didn't love you unless you said it first, or she told you she loved you and you failed to give the proper reply.
jamejame97 12
well she just lost an amazing guy who has the ability to quote the notebook :) :P
Snackycake 20
I always wanted a guy who quoted song lyrics for me. She doesn't deserve someone as thoughtful as you op.
craphappened 4
Bitch is just looking for an excuse to dump you isn't it.
zandalee 20
Omg! U look like one pissed off pussy
rammy125 4
I was just going to say that, if she was looking for a reason. She is pretty sad.. OP is probably better off now.
craphappened 4
Dumping someone because they're "phoney and unoriginal" is really, really, incredibly shallow. This is just being sweet. Some people can't appreciate what they have.
zandalee 20
Her loss. You sound lovely. Too lovely for her. This happened because you deserve better.
lajaynay 15
Girls want guys like him and then when a guy actually does try to emulate him, he gets dumped. Will a girl ever be satisfied?
DjeePee 25
Like him? Hell no, guys should have the character of Batman with the looks of cap'tain Jack Sparrow.
ManInTheMachine 20
Joker: Wanna hear a joke? Batman: No. Joker: Well I'll tell you one anyway. Knock knoc-- Batman: Come in. I'm not sure if girls would be into Batman's sense of humor. Everything else about him is badass, though.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I love Batman's sense of humor actually :P
lajaynay 15
I definitely agree 38, especially on the looking like Johnny Depp part. That man just turned 49 and still looks damn good.
DjeePee 25
Yeah, at first, I'd just written Jack Sparrow, but you know, he's dishonest, goes to the hookers, cheats, steals...not really a good match.
darwinism 30
Some bird species have the same partner for life, while others don't. I guess you are the second kind. You can find another one to share your nest OP. FYL
melodywarner17 0
Whatta bitch.