Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
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Top comments
JessicaNB 2
Those damn Mermaids!
Nevereverland 8
Did it have seamen on it?
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Comments (121)
funnytruth 0
Wtf why whould a condom be a the beach?
bobsanchez13 0
Because people were having sexy time in the water.... Not that hard to figure it out >.> what else do you do with a condom??? (balloons)
SkoomaKi 28
Mermaids getting frisky.
Nutz101 7
Because their are some people who think, "Oh I've got a great idea, lets do it on the beach. That will be great."
uberdubers 3
15 - With aquaman
ferrousWheel 6
Condoms are almost everywhere. Because people have sex almost everywhere. The only WTF about this is your not being able to conceive of beach sex.
rcgirl2 11
Because Aquaman is gettin' it on with the fish.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
1- I have the feeling you've never driven around with a girl with a full box of condoms having no plans at all!
koolkat27 13
20- But having sex in public is going too far. Maybe it's just me, but I would be uncomfortable having sex with people around.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Because of all those seamen at sea
ydi_4_suking 20
Sex on the beach. Duh
awagh666 14
#1, because the homeless man finally threw his 'magic one-finger glove' after being unable to sell it
zandalee 20
That's the beauty of sex in the sea. No one can tell....
Pandacupcakelove 26
1- See, when a man and a woman really loves each other...
Meghanlamar 5
Ikr? That's what I was wondering!!
newbiehere99 6
Is this how mermaids are born ? 0_o
newbiehere99 6
.
StrangeDuckling 9
Didn't you listen to California Gurls by Katy Perry? "Sex, on the beach..." There's also: "We freak, in my jeep" And "Birds, break their necks, trying to get a little sneak peek, at us..." And somewhere I'm pretty sure it says something about doing "Doggy-Dog" ir something like that Lol
VeganVampyre 27
Also because even when people do it in the privacy of home and flush them down the toilet after, they will end up in the ocean. Hasn't anyone here watched Finding Nemo? All drains lead to the sea!! That's how kidnapped fishies get home and condoms get in peoples hair.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
18- That's it! You've finally discovered Aquaman's power!! He gets a lot of mermaid pu- ... Wait... >.> ...Tail
omgcookeys 15
15, when mermaids get pregnant, how do they give birth? With a sea-section! Ahahahahahaha... No? Okay. (hides in shame)
BabyGirlJr1 11
Mermaid sex!!!!!!!!!!!!
LauraJayneC 7
You obviously haven't been to Scotland
d0hhhhhhhhhEY 0
Was it salty?
ferrousWheel 6
It's seawater. Ain't it always salty?
d0hhhhhhhhhEY 0
I was implying something else but yes, Sea water is always salty my friend!
funnytruth 0
You dont FUCKEN say
funnytruth 0
Dumb ass
kayleebearr 6
Ew ! Reason why people shouldn't litter !
JessicaNB 2
Those damn Mermaids!
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Why can't they just do it anal?
elliotb94 9
You should still use a condom doing anal, you might not get a girl pregnant but it wouldn't stop your dick from falling off. Don't be silly wrap your willy.
DarkSeekerX94446 14
They just can't help themselves. :P
EMTchic 14
me and some of my friends had a week long debate about that a few months ago . we had been trying to think of something weird to talk about to see what peoples reactions were, and that was what we decided ^_^ we came to the conclusion that they use the ends of their fins and do it scissors =P
XtraEzeee 8
78- They do bass to mouth. Or maybe they lay eggs. Who knows.
mrsxsavage 3
YES.
Nevereverland 8
Did it have seamen on it?
koolkat27 13
The salt of the sea probably washed it out. If not, that's ******* gross!
mcintosh123 15
It took me awhile but now I sea what you did there.
FMLshark 12
33- You shore did.
CorporalDunn 4
No, it had seawomen on it...
Senseless_487 29
29, don't be a beach, just have fun with the joke.
ThisBiatchFMLs 5
33- you're effin gorgeous
2oc 5
I wonder if OP saw any sperm whales while out at see
TheVelocirabbit 10
Water you people talking about?
newbiehere99 6
You guys are so shelly :)
JFAW 6
You jelly??
XtraEzeee 8
Halibut we stop now.
xX8BiTBoBXx 3
Seariously guys stop comment stupid puns... You guys are being shellfish... His comment was probably not even on porpoise... Quit being such Beaches
LemonandLime 13
Stop being so crabby.
chubbybunny963 7
Cum on you guys, don't make fun of OP.
sporty1200xlr 6
Watch out for those sea snakes!!
SkoomaKi 28
Ah memories at the beach. You'll look back on this and laugh. In the meantime, get to the ******* showers (if there are any nearby)! I hope for your sake OP, it wasn't burst.
mcintosh123 15
Make a balloon out of it and use it as a floater. You know what they say safety first
ByronJess 17
Can't beat some nice beach sex. :)
A100893 30
....*cracks up* Your parents have a good sense of humor.